So, I invite you to join the ride and experience at least small glimpses of this interweb woof/foxxo/sheppy’s experience :3

Day 0 … The arrival and the atmosphere has taken over

Travelling in general has always been a bit of my kryptonite. I get rather anxious even when I have most of the things already settled and this whole endeavour was completely on me. The rego, flight tickets, shuttle bus to the airport, planning the packaging … seasoned folks already know the drill but for me it was a massive learning experience. Of course, as you can already recognise, I’ve handled everything well, safe and sound and with no problems handled the trip and arrived safely to Sweden. Stepping out of the train that connects the city of Copenhagen with my destination already signalled the great mood since there were furs waiting for others, creating an improvised welcoming party. Anxiety was quickly replaced by anticiaption and it was going up with each step towards the main venue.

Once the place was in my sight, there was absolute no chance of missing it, even in the dark cover of evening. Nicely lit entrance to the hotel, already occupied by various fluffy critters, welcoming the newcomers. Passing through the lobby, I already felt the joyful mood filling my mind. First things first however, the registration. And with it, the first queue of the event. Despite there being quite a few folks the process went quickly and smoothly. There was just a tiny mishap with the fursuit bandanna that was a welcome gift. It was supposed to have my name on it there was some problem with the batch and it got lost. No big deal, the bandanna is still adorable and will definitely have its time in the spotlight. I just need to figure out how to use it with muy rather thick fluffy neck :3

Once registered and bestowed with the official badge with my likeness, both drawn and actually fluffy one, I headed to my accomodation so I could free myself off my luggage and let my fluffy self free of his rather tight confinement (don’t worry, the head is perfectly capable of surviving in the suitcase since it’s fully made of foam). The hotel had a nice surprise for me since I got an upgrade due to space to a double room. I travelled just on my own so having a huge bed was pretty neat. The room itself was very compact yet perfectly suited for the purpose and neatly cosy with a view at the central train station and the canal running around it. Bonux point for being like a 5 minute walk from the hotel.

And you know I took that walk … in the suit :3 Just partially for the first time but I was already impatient and wanted to soak in the atmosphere of the space. I also used the opportunity to “map” the area so I don’t get lost while “prowling” the place. Once back in the main hotel, I moved into the “backstage” aka fursuit lounge (the place which always looks like the Museum of Heads from Futurama) to finish suiting up. And just moments later, my human likeness was replaced by the one of the black woof with notches on his muzzle and bright blue wristbands. Slowly but surely I started embracing my fluffy me, letting out the initial anxiety. And believe me, the atmosphere of the place was intoxicating. Each step in my suit releasing pure joy into my mind. Each tone of music playing in the lobby making my head slightly rock into the rhythm, my walk slowly being replaced by this happy trot. When I stepped in front of the hotel, there were fluffy critters everywhere, painting the place in every colour imaginable. And trust me, despite it still being winter with temperatures close to freezing, I felt nice a warm in my fluffy self.

After a few hours once I had my fill I slowly returned to my cosy spot so I could recharge after the trip and get ready for when the show really starts. But I already knew it’s going to be an experience of my life. Moreso because I’ve already met the first fellow fur from the Mastodon circles, Rayu :3

Day 1 … The show is a go! And familiar faces have appeared.

First morning in new place and woof is rested from the travel while still being on his usual daily schedule. Damn it, brain, I’m having a vacation. Although it’s a bit on me because I forgot to switch off my alarms. Whoopsie! Anyway, woof headed for a brekkie and once full on food and powered by the morning cup of coffee, I headed to the venue, armed with just my tablet to soak in the place and maybe get some pictures of early suiters. Once at the spot, I found myself a cosy corner and indulged myself in a bit of drawing (got few refs on my virtual drawing board). But the venue started filling up and the number of suiters started growing. This all resulted in my inner voice telling me “Join them! Join the floofs!” And who am I to refuse the offer. So, a quick walk back to my hotel to grab the suit and I’ve joined the morning batch of suiters. And already some random encounters were happening, be it noseboops, high-fives or the occasional hug.

After the morning session, woof was getting hungry so I ventured into the town centre for a bite to eat. Yes, I know, I’m in Sweden so I should indulge myself on something local but I just have a thing for asian-styled cuisine and there happened to be a small cosy place called Osaka. So I slid in, finding out it was quite full but a spot was found among some fellow attendees. Moreover, the place was partnered with the con so there was a small deal in form a free drink. And believe me, it’s amusing when the personnel of the place asks you “Are you a furry?” and you can confidently say “Yes, I am!”. The folks and the food were absolutely lovely and I happily returned there for a meal throughout the week. Moreover, peeking our and seeing suddenly seeing a dragon posing in front of the place just gave the first time there an amazing “cherry on top”.

Now, fully sated and refreshed, it was time to head back and join the floofs again. This time around with a purpose because I knew there would be someone I’ve already known for a bit and was to try and catch them. And after a bit of roaming, the one I sought has appeared. A fellow black woof from an online place which led me to the fandom (even though I had to leave the place later down the line due to personal reasons), Blazi! Gorgeus, lovable and dangerously handsome (as all woofs are >:3) he bestowed me with a gift of stickers (don’t worry, I’ll have something to give back, it’s already on my drawing board ;3) and a small conversation and a plan to pull my dear SO to the place someday. And the meeting of familiar faces didn’t end there because after some a while I’ve met another fluffy treasure. The corgi with style and absolutely overflowing with the most joyful energy, Tosh. I also met his dearest SO in their fluffy foxy self. What an incredible afternoon and that was just the first day.

The evening came and with it the official opening ceremony. I was already a little worn from the day of suiting but couldn’t resist the call of floof. Solution? Let’s give the feet and sleeves the rest and opt for just the head, hands and of course, the fluffy tail. And all nicely fuzzy, let’s brighten the queue for the main stage which was already quite long. And while the wait took a bit, once the doors opened, everyone flowed in smoothly. The ceremony itself was amazing. Packed with jokes, little skits and most importantly, the dances. And wow did they deliver. Not only the already pawsome number of the crew but the absolutely phenomenal show of the guest stars, the Taiwanesse group Wannabeast. Believe me, I really can’t describe the spectacle with words. Dancing on its own is already one hell of an exercise and doing it in a full suit is just … like I already said, I’m lost for words. In no way I could even dream of matching their skill. While I’m not tone deaf, I have nowehere near the physical prowess required.

After the show, I ventured to the bonfire place (don’t worry, I was in a safe distance) because I was to meet another friend from before, Kryptid fox. Wild and punkish on the outside, yet charming and cosy in real life. After a brief talk, I split up and slowly returned to my dwelling, since the day of suiting took its toll on me and I was still recharging a bit from the trip.

Day 2 … The woof goes suiting and then goes looting :3 … and DOGGOS!!!

Second day has arrived and more adventures were to be. This time I didn’t even wait for the morning traffic to pass and already headed to the venue suited up. If someone said I was living in the suit throughout the con, I wouldn’t deny it. But the call was irresistible and the random small moments with fellow suiters are just so heartwarming. And while I didn’t meet famililar faces this time around, I’ve posted a picture from time to time and from the responses, even if folks haven’t managed to stop me for an interaction, just seeing me “dancing” around the venue (those who saw me know what I mean :3) already brought smiles.

The day flew by and the important time was nearing; the opening hour of The Dealer’s Den. A place where artists can sell their merchandise, be it art prints, badges, magnets, various tags, shirts, suit parts and on some occasions even pre-made suits. So many things to choose and of course woof wasn’t about to leave empty handed. Soon, new badges were decorating my neck, already overloaded with lanyards, got me some shirts and an adorable black woof plushie to keep me company in my room and to be brought home with me and possibly on more trips :3 Not to mention I had a chance to visit the second venue of the con, the Valhalla. This place housed a cosy corner styled into a zen garden for pictures, an arcade, game rooms, the “Haunted House” and the aforementioned Dealer’s Den.

Having my hands full, I headed back to unload the loot, planning to return back to maybe grab some more stuff (didn’t manage but no big deal because it’d mean I’d lose on some more valuable experiences). Loot-free, I grabbed some dinner and went back to the venue for an evening suiting session. And lo and behold, an orange friend appeared; Loimu the fox, together with his BF, Dr4gonMouse (haven’t managed to see him in his protogen suit; mini-goal for next time :3). A lovely couple from the neighbouring Finland.

After our brief chat I spent a bit more time around the place and happened to run into some of my fellow coutry-folks who were accompanied by two Great Pyrenesse doggos, Athos (like on of the musketeers) and Arthur (like the king of England). And whoo boy were they total cuddlebugs.

According to the owner they’re intended to be trained as assistant dogs and they’re already quite good at it. But here, they too were “on a vacation”. And you just can’t resist petting these four-legged “plushies”. And yes, I was suited up so I was a two-legged woof petting an actual dog. And Arthur got into such a playful mood that he decided to give me a hug. Yes, you’re reading right. I had a huge doggo try and pounce on my shoulders. Naturally, I knelt down to be able to handle him a little better and just gave him a hug myself. And I legit wanted to take him with me :3. By the way, Athos isn’t much different as the owner demostrated by carrying him in her arms. Yes, a 40 kg almost three years old dog. The same dog who has been playfully “trapping” another suiter, Exi the drolf, who laid down on the ground. After this amazing encounter I headed back to the hotel to get recharged for the next day. And what a day it has been.

Day 3 … The house is open and the magic flows into the city.

Third official day of the con was quite a special one. Why? Because on this day, an event called “Open House” was happening. This means that people not officially attending the con can take peek into the public spaces and mingle with the floofs. And believe me, such experience is magical. It’s absolutely amazing to see the folks who decided to spend a bit of time among the furs smile and interact with the huge fluffy critters. Of course this also means that their kids are around. And for them, it’s an experience of their lives. For them it’s as if fairy tales came to life for a brief moment. Of course, some are a little intimidated. Keep in mind that kids can be intimidated by a sight of an ordinary adult. Now imagine someone in a fuzzy suit. They’re huge. And of course, proper rules of engagement apply. Absolutely no chasing or doing any stupid shit. Just be your adorable fuzzy self, crouch down to appear smaller and more approachable and let them dictate the interaction. And keep their parents in your sights. Remember, you’re just a rando in a costume, not a trained professional. Do the things right and your reward will be the sincere smiles of both the kids and their parents who just had one amazing experience.

As the day went along, I’ve managed to encounter Loimu yet again and this time around we were joined by another foxxo, Mt. Kanjon (Grout). And wow is he a stream of happy energy. If there’s a way to embody happiness in the purest form, Kanjon does this marvellously. I’ll need to channel your energy when my foxy self, Roky, comes to life.

After a bit of playtime around the venue, decision was made to move to Valhalla to check out the arcade for a bit, suited of course. A wonderful convenience from the con folks was organising a shuttle bus to ferry floofs between the venues. And since it was a little cold drizzly outside (not rainy but wet enough that you’d feel your fur becoming a little damp. Me being in full partial suit, while relatively comfy, I started feeling a little bit of chill. Conveniently, Kanjon was right next to me and the idea came to my mind: “Kanjon, can I steal a bit of your heat?” What followed was me, Kanjon and Loimu immediately smooshed together into a warm and cosy mini-pile, while waiting for the bus to arrive. Believe me, such an experience is … unreal. Doesn’t matter that it was wet and muggy outside, we were nicely warm. Once the bus arrived we got ourselves transported to the Valhalla for a brief break in the local lounge. (Which had one perk over the main lounge: warmer large fans. While the high speed ones were great at getting you dry quickly, they were super cold. Great for full suiters but whoo boy could it give a windchill for those in partials.) After our brief break we checked out the arcade and to do a bit of drumming and checked out the set-ups. Since it was already late and we were getting hungry, we headed out to the stop where we split up because we all were housed in different places. We agreed with Loimu on a late lunch before and parted ways with the same group hug as before while waiting for the bus.

Back to my dwelling, a shower to get into a “presentable” state and off to the lunch to a local burger place, which too was partnered with the con. Seriously, Malmö just became a furry city. And were about to make it even furrier the next day :3 The food was great and it was a nice meet-up with my foxy companion, this time out of suit. Just a moment later Kanjon arrived as well with another group. We were a bit too big for the same table so we had to split up. After the lunch we parted ways to get ready for the evening. And for this woof, the evening was about to be filled with music.

Yup, woof was about to unrust his bones and check if he can still somewhat dance. Now, don’t think high of me when it comes to any dancing skills. But having a dance party dedicated to music from the 80s and 90s? I can’t miss that. And in suit, I couldn’t care less about looking like an idiot. So, a brief moment of respite, suit up, a brisk walk to the venue (as brisk as I can do in the pair of huge foam boots that look like wolf paws) and a bit of roaming before the short wait in front of the dance Cube. And once I was in, the world outside seized to exists. There was just me, bunch of floofs and other folks and tunes of my childhood. Yes, I’m indeed this old already and given my birthplace, it’s no wonder that I grew up on the music of these eras. Was I tired as all hell after the segment? Yes. Was it worth it? YES!!!!! The energy of the place was pure happiness injected directly into my mind. And while I couldn’t last for long, the time spent there was magical. After my fill, I roamed around the place a bit but headed back to the hotel shortly after because I was totally exhausted. Absolutely worth it though, even though I had to take extra effort to dry the suit afterwards. I had a blast and that’s what’s important.

Day 4 … Furs have conquered the city >:3

First day of the weekend I had to make sure I’m in full strength because it was the day of the parade. Fill up on food, put on your best fluffy face and we’re off to the venue. First things first, a bit of setting the mood for the day with some suiting. As the slightly sleepy venue slowly fills in, a sight of happy floofs is always welcome. And having someone to join in on the fun is even better. Someone like Kaiser for example. A floof with a face hidden behind a mask of bones. But that doesn’t stop him from rocking colour pom-poms and an amazingly cheerful critter :3 I also happened to run into a green dragon Birko who, in my opinion, should’ve been the pilot of our flight to Copenhagen. Seriously, goggles? Check. Can fly on his own? Check. Bonus points for being fuzzy.

The main events of the day were nearing so I shifted towards the opposite side of the hotel near the canal where the group picture of suiters was to be taken. And look, a wild Kanjon appears, this time with a collie on his side (sadly, didn’t catch their name). A little bit of fooling around together and we’re slowly lining up for the picture. Lucky me caught the spot in the front row so yay, I’m visible. Only to immediately realise that I’ll probably have to kneel down. So … I did. And after like five minutes I had to get up because my knees were killing me. Damn you, age, wearing my body down. But then … I do climbing so of course my joints experience increased wear. The only problem was that there were no callouts for the picture so we really didn’t have much idea what to do. Not to mention we all were facing the sun. Great for the picture and catching extra warmth, especially for me wearing all black :3 On the other hand, some instructions would be great. Suddenly, buzzing of a drone caught our attention so we finally got some idea. But then what? Well, imagine hundreds of furs, standing on a waterfront, posing for a picture. Basically what was happening for like half and hour. After this bit of posing exercise, the main event has started, the suit parade through the town centre. Yes, right after the photoshoot we were slowly directed on the path of the parade.

So I unstuck my stiff legs and got into my light trott. Just few steps along the bridge, a wild Fluke appeared. Yes, THAT Fluke. The blue dancing husky start, sporting his iconic crown and of course the majestic husky curl :3 I stumbled upon him throughout the con few times but not at times that’d be convenient for at least a picture. I happened to stumble upon Tirox as well but I was often suited up myself. Besides, I don’t really get star-struck. Nevertheless, it was nice knowing that they were around and I had the chance to at least see these gorgeous furs live.

Anyway, back to the parade. An otherwordly experience. That’s all I can say about it. You’re just strolling through the town, being your best and happiest self. You look around and you see the people lining the path, smiling, waving, giving you high-fives when you pass close by. The parade is like a river of joy flowing through the town and everyone around can take a sip. And whoo boy was the parade absolultely massive. I was already coming back to the venue and most of the people haven’t even set off yet. I took a much needed break after all the walking and once rested, I got back into the fray. Even stumbled upon Rayu, suited up this time as he was coming back. I wanted yo give him a hug but sadly it was in an inconvenient spot at the time. I carefully worked my way through the crowd to the sunny outside because the inside was feeling a little warm. And I spotted none other than Loimu in front of the red statue. We mingled a bit and suddenly spotted a conga line forming. And what do you do when a conga line begins? You join in, of course! So I slid right behind a dark green dragon and extended the fluffy train. Bonus points for them having music of their own. To be precise, a more dancy mix of “Du Hast” from Rammstein. Yes, you’re reading this right. I was doing a conga line to an industrial metal song. Why? Because why not? :3

Once the line dispersed, I headed back to the lounge to get a bit of a breather and happened to spot a familiar feline. Hmm, who could it be? I was too busy recovering my strength but a mini-task was already in my head. So once I was back on my feet, I set off to investigate. And just minutes later, I was welcomed by Erel (an alternative character of Tosh). And oh my, what an utterly heartmelting experience. Where Tosh is a well of pure joy, Erel is so devilishly charming that you’ll be caught in their spell in seconds. I even joked a little that my SO would get jealous. I mean, the picture says it all for itself.

After that, we parted ways since Erel was heading for an event and I really needed to rest my feet and grab a bite to eat. After that, I checked the event list if there’s something to attend at the last minute before I’ll have to pack my suit so it’s ready for the trip home. My eyes landed on a photoshoot. Hmm, having some themed pictured would be quite neat. So I got into the suit for one last time and headed back in. The queue was minimal there so I got the spot quite quickly. And soon I was posing for the camera :3 Once done, one last bit of roaming the lobby before the final trip to my room.

I put the suit off, cleaned the parts a bit and started the inevitable; getting ready for packing. And then it hit me; the reality of my happiest week so far coming to a close. Seeing my head sitting on the suitcase, looking at me with his icy blue, welcoming eyes, ready to be packed in next morning … the feels were building up but I held myself together. But whoo boy, each time the thought crossed my mind I felt my throat get tight.

Day 5 … All things come to an end.

Last day and the day woof has to go home. One last brekkie at the hotel, pack the rest of the suit and off to the venue one last time for the closing ceremony. I left my baggage in the drop-off area so I can have my hands free and look for a cosy spot to settle before he ceremony starts. Lo and behold, I stumbled upon an almost empty drawing corner. I’m not good with traditional art but I just felt like making a small parting gift. So I found myself a spot, grabbed a piece of paper and started doodling. Few minutes later, a joyful woof appeared on the paper. And of course, me being the silly goober I am, I happened to make a bit of an error X3

After I finished my drawing, I joined the queue for the closing ceremony. Folks were yet again smoothly let into the main stage area and I snagged the spot on the outside of the row in case I needed to head out earlier so I don’t miss my flight (wasn’t really necessary but this being my first proper trip I was really cautios). Yet again, the show was a spectacle. And we were presented some absolutely stunning stats. 5335 total attendees, making the NFC the biggest con in Europe to date. Almost 3000 suiters, enough to beat the total attendance of the last year; an absolutely insane feat. 1500 people in the suit parade. Yes, I happened to attend the largest con as my first ever one and it was spectacular.

But the real star of the show? An Icelandic charity for animals recovering from harsh and abusive environments was partnered with the con and people could donate to their cause. By the time of the closing ceremony was going, the total proceeding exceeded FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND Swedish Krones (about 36k EUR or 37k USD). The representatives from the charity told us that we basically paid their operating costs for the entire year. A totally breathtaking act of generosity. So yes, even in our mess of the world, the good will is still strong and shines bright like a beacon when the time comes.

As mentioned, I had to head out of the ceremony earlier so I could get to the airport comfortably. While waiting for my baggage, I saw the stream of the animation promoting the theme of the next year’s con and … Dear NFC, I love you for the theme and curse you for giving me a deadline >:3. It’s going to be circus themed which is a prime time for Roky to shine. For me however, it means making the suit AND ideally getting the outfit too. I’ll probably have to commision it because I may have practical skills but not this much. There’s also another idea on my mind which could be a bit easier but … it still involves suit making. That said, I’m already hyped for NFC2026.

With my bags collected, I passed through the main door once again and headed towards to train station so I could be ferried to the Copenhagen airport and flown home. And believe me, woof really didn’t want to go home. I can still feel the tears trying to get into my eyes when I think about it. But alas, all things come to an end. Cry not the tears of sorrow because your time of joy has ended. And if you can’t resist, may the tears be of happiness that your spirit was lifted high. Higher than the clouds, to the stars themselves. Stars full of warmth, mending the wounds you may have suffered in your life until this moment. Stars full of hope, showing the path forward towards more adventures. Spirits of Zen Garden, you bestowed upon me a gift and lifted my soul to the heavens. And for that I am eternally grateful.

R.R.A.

#MyFuzzySide

Anyway, in today’s short musing I’d like to shed a bit more light at my wolf self specifically because there’s actually a bit of a life story linked to him and why I possibly relate to him quite a bit more.

Now, I know I’ll probably disappoint some of you but no, the extension is not in a therian sense. For that to be true, I’d have to be a shapeshifter due to having multiple characters. The point of the story I’m to share is to add up on the already shared background of how Rawen came to be even before his physical self became a thing.

In the introduction post, I gave three main characteristics to Rawen; Serious, Mentor, Big Brother. I’ve chosen these to provide the broad description of my “main” character. However, there could be two more which stem from a bit of a psychological background; Artist and Advisor.

To understand the descriptors, let’s rewind over a decade back to Rawi just at the verge of his 20s. I’m in the last year of secondary school and aside from that, I’m also working on something resembling a beginning of a professional sports career. “Wait, what? You did that?” you ask. Indeed, my dear reader. I got the full package; intense training, competitions, regeneration programmes and of course, psychological practices. The last in the list is the important part to the story.

The sessions were a bit irregular due to the schedule being rather tight but they were at roughly monthly basis. On these I was taught techniques on how to handle pre-competition anxiety and stress (important to a nervous wreck like me) as well as analysing and revising the previous experiences and what could I learn from them. In some of earlier sessions, the psychologist of course needed a bit of a personality assesment too which is a short story I might share at some point as well. The one I want to talk about now is linked to a session on which I did something akin to Rorschach’s test. You know, the one with the various ink spots? In these I often identified various animals and natural motives. The assesment of that was that I have a creative mind.

Creative mind … remember the Artist tag? Not to mention what I’m doing right now? This also prompted my following question: “Since I lean towards animals and animal motives a lot, I have to ask: Why wolf specifically?” Mind you, I already had my “iconic” wolf aesthetic (ok, just a shirt with a wolf motive to keep it subtle but immediately recognisable). “Could be that you’re a pack leader in your mind, the so-called Alpha,” was the answer from the psychologist. And yes, I’m aware the “Alpha” thing and the related hierarchy theory is inaccurate. “That … doesn’t really work for me,” I rejected, “Mainly because I detest leading. I immediately refuse leading roles.” “Hmm, and how do you feel when you’re being led?” I was asked right after. “I don’t mind having a leader but they must be competent. Because I despise bad leadership,” I answered. “Here we go. That’s the answer to your original question. Once could say you’re the ‘super-Alpha’ (that’s a quote by the way). The one who checks the actual Alpha,” assessed the psychologist.

Back then I found it interesting but didn’t give it much weight. But now when I return to that moment I find out that it indeed makes sense. I don’t like leading roles because I’m aware of the tremendous responsibility they entail and I don’t have the personal will to handle it. At the same time, I have an absolute disdain towards incompetent leaders. Be it they’re too controlling, negligent or downright arrogant. So you can probably imagine how I feel these days in the world led mostly by imbeciles. Anyway, I’m not here to rant so this will be the only caustic spit I’ll let out of my system. Back to the topic, I was sometimes asked for my insight on some decisions regarding leadership actions. At this point I have no issues to provide them with words of caution that they’re based merely on my observations and often surface level knowledge of the matter at hand. Moreover, my information is just a small piece of the entire puzzle. All of these however match the Advisor tag.

And there you have it. That’s why I’m a wolf first when it comes to my fuzzy self. Not the hungry grinning fairy tale kind but more of the mentor kind which might fit into a mythological description of some cultures (I’d need someone far more versed in this field than me).

R.R.A.

#MyFuzzySide

Rawen, the serious, the mentor, the big brother

My main character and pretty “Me”, just with a wolf muzzle, black fur, silvery face, dangerously charming blue eyes and a fluffy white chest/collar you can rest your head on (if I allow you to). I’ve created this image of me to manly establish myself in the online world. The name “Rawen” comes from a really really old nickname that just stayed with me so using it was natural. Why wolf? For some reason I really like wolves as animals. They’re an image of independence, freedom, confidence. But at the same time they represent to me sort of loneliness and solitude. The term “lone wolf” exists for a reason and me being a rather strong introvert fits that description. Why black wolf? I always had a black wolf as an avatar way back. It was also a deliberate decision to make myself easier to draw and eventually make it easier to make “the suit” *wink wink*.

The Serious

I’m in general a somewhat serious person. It stems from my anxiety and general self-consciousness about what I do and how I appear. To some I might even seem like I’m boring, unfun or policing someone else’s fun. Don’t worry, I’m neither. I’m just really the typical introverted person and takes something that really catches my interest and a proper sense of security to open up. And when I do, I’m one hell of a book to read.

The Mentor

A trait that stems from my experiences with teaching and or coaching someone or just being the person that listens and tries to help and navigate you on your road in life. I’m no therapist and I always say to take my “mentoring” with a huge grain of salt and approach it critically. That said, if you’re interested I happen to leave a lasting impression, then I’m happy to help.

The Big Brother

A trait I never thought I’d get since I have no siblings by blood. But over the course of my life I got around some folks and we grown really close together. So close that our bond became family-like. And believe me, it’s one hell of an amazing ride. And it also ties into one more thing I connect with wolves, the pack and the family bond.

Roky, the joy incarnate, the motivator, the mender of soul

My first “alter-ego” (not in the DID sense), Roky, the fox. Initially created to be Rawen’s opposite; care-free, rowdy, wild. Over the course of time, this foxy developed into an embodiment of happiness and my lucky charm. Why fox? You know how people sometimes say foxes are hyperactive cats in dog’s bodies? Roky is pretty much that. Bright ball of contagious happy energy.

The Joy Incarnate

As mentioned earlier, Roky (back then he started with a name Rokhan; thank fuck I changed that) was created as an opposite to Rawen. Where Rawen is this serious, calm person, Roky is rowdy and light-hearted. It took a while before I started showing him around and always switched to him whenever I wanted to “raise the mood”. What made him my talisman however is the art you see above (it’s just a part of the full thing). I wanted the artist (and my friend/sibling) to make Roky into a jester/joker. And they came up with the art you see. The smile, the wink of his emerald eyes, the ringleader-like suit … I utterly fell in love with it (and believe me that the artist could write a book about how much I love the piece). And each and every time I see this piece, I can’t help but smile. Because Roky is smiling. And since he’s technically me, or who I want to and love to be … you get the idea. Roky is simply happiness and joy of life distilled into this fluffy and bright form.

The Motivator

Linked to his always happy nature, he also has a talent to motivate you to do anything you want. Doesn’t matter if it’s something simple, he’ll have your back. He also has this talent in “leading you out of your comfort zone”. I’ve drawn some personal pieces depicting that when I’ve been struggling and whoo boy did it help. And Rawi got some his sharper edges dulled, lowering his inner anger.

The Mender of Soul

What happens when you have someone to give you motivation to keep going on your hard days and they’re an avatar of happiness? They become someone who heals wounds done to your mind. And that’s one hidden power Roky has developed not just in regards to me. Allow me for a small picture:

The world feels like it’s falling on you. You lay on your bed, eyes watery from the tears. “When will this end you ask yourself?” You hear a storm outside, gloomy, loud. Lost in your sorrow, you don’t notice a familiar face entering your room. He comes closer, sitting on your bed. “Sorry if I startled you. What’s wrong? Who hurt you?” The familiar face is none other than Roky, concerned seeing you so down. “I … I just can’t take this!”, you start sobbing, overwhelmed with grief. “Shhh, no worries. I’m here to protect you from those evil things in your head,” Roky says gently, wiping a tear from your eye. Feeling his soft touch, you can’t help but drop into his arms, crying all the sorrows out. “There, there. Let them all out. Let all the grief flow away with the tears. Even if I can’t heal all the wounds, right now, you’re safe.” You look up and see the magical emerald eyes, the comforting smile. You slowly lose yourself in the warm embrace. In this very moment, you’re safe.

An image like this one is something I recommend imaging whenever you need someone to comfort you. Roky in this role is the ultimate safe space. The cosiest corner I can run into when everything feels like it’s falling apart.

Archie, the overgrown kid, the playfully curious

Archie, the German Shepherd; this one has a rather simple origin story. I really really like German Shepherds since they’re this amazing balance of protectors and absolute goofs. And since it’s most likely going to be difficult for me to get one, I decided to make one of my own … and be one when I want to :p. As mentioned, he’s an embodiment of my inner child.

The Overgrown Kid

A pretty self-explanatory title, I made Archie to represent my inner child. Easily excited, super curious, a little hasty when doing stuff resulting in silly moments. But in general the happy ball of fluff just running through life. Why overgrown? Well, he’s me and I’m already way into my adulthood.

The Playfully Curious

Rolling with the “overgrown kid” theme is the trait I always had as a kid and it stays with me ‘til this day. When something really grabs my attention, I approach it with gleeful curiosity and love to playfully explore all the corners of the subject at hand. This proved quite useful during my studies and still does in my job since it involves a lot of “poking” into the code I work with. I just need to keep in mind to not break things too much.

Kai-Tan, the patient, the spiritual guide

Over the course of time I discovered another character in myself. Someone who embodies my patience as a listener. Someone who’s guiding me forward on my way through life. Meet Kai-Tan, the Eastern Dragon.

The Patient

While I’m not exactly the most patient person (I’m frankly rather hot-headed in general), I’ve discovered that I can display and exercise a lot of actual patience when I think it’s deserved. It’s as if I’m treating it as a resource, especially with people. On one hand, I have little tolerance to bullshit. On the other and especially when it comes to those who care, I can allocate all the patience in the world to hear their story and help the navigate their maze of life. Which smoothly leads me to …

The Spiritual Guide

Yes, it’s this dragon who’s helping me and those who ask for it on their way forward. It is his voice of reason which helps Rawen (me) perform his mentoring skills. Because while the woof “excels” at the more “academic” approach to things, even knowledge needs soul, just like art. And when such is nowhere to be found, Kai-Tan steps in, helping you on your way.

So yeah, this is me through the fuzzy lens. A mixture of these three furballs, each covering part of my personality, being my role models or “mental refuges”.

R.R.A.

#MyFuzzySide