As you’ve probably caught from the intro, I don’t like “AI”. I personally refuse to call present day’s “bullshit generator” AI because that stuff isn’t even remotely intelligent. Tbh, it’s barely knowledgeable. AI generated imagery makes me roll my eyes, AI generated memes make me want to pull the spine out of the “creator’s” arsehole (yeah, nice job, self-titled “liberator”/”democracy defender”) and whenever someone mentions words “AI summary”, I have the utmost urge to summarily grind their face into a paste with the heaviest book I can find. Being a creative person as my hobby, it makes my blood boil to even use the term “content creator”. But I’m not here to talk about this. I’m here to talk about my “work” field or at least part of it; coding and the involvement of AI in it. And whoo boy do we need to talk because the level of flippant shit-flinging in this field is like watching a RW-nutjobs meeting “for better XYZ”.

AI-assisted coding != Vibe-coding

This. This right here is something everyone in this discussion should drill into their skull. These two, while related, are very distinct things. How? AI-assisted coding means you’re using an AI tool to help you put the pieces of code together with you, the programmer, providing the competence to the tool. You’re essentially turning the AI tool of your choice into a second pair of hands; a really dumb and massively energy inefficient pair of hands which you have to constantly watch and guide so it doesn’t do anything stupid. And to make matters worse, it won’t even learn anything because guess what, it doesn’t know how to learn (but guess who would actually learn something *looks at many undergrads/juniors*). No, pouring a bucket of knowledge into a machine isn’t learning. It needs understand why and when. And no, statistics aren’t the solution.

Vibe-coding (I’m seriously going to find whoever coined the term and fix their vibes by cracking their nuts, if they have any) on the other hand is prompting the AI tool until it produces something that looks like you want (spoiler alert, it’s absolutely nothing like what you want) without a sliver of an idea what the fuck are you doing. Like, in the case of the former there’s at least a somewhat competent person using an incompetent tool. In this case … You know the so-many-times-repeated story of “if you close a crowd of monkeys into a room and let them randomly type, one of them will eventually type a Shakespeare’s play”, right? Well, congratulations. You’re exactly that; a monkey randomly typing. Except you have no idea what a typewriter is or who Shakespeare is or why are you even in that room in the first place.

Now, why am I making this distinction? Because people tend to conflate these two together. This results in rather flippant and reactionary (sounds familiar?) environment surrounding the field where instead of trying to find some way out of this mess, people are too busy throwing shit at one another (sounds familiar?). Should you stay clear of vibe-coded projects? Absolutely because the person behind them has no idea what they’re doing. Should you be wary of a project which allows AI-assisted contributions? Absolutely because doing so puts a HUGE competence requirement on the maintainers of the project. This jump is so massive that the competence needed will very likely exceed the capabilities of the maintainers which can either result in the team spiraling further down into the vibe-coding hole (then it’s time to jump ship) or the team seriously re-evaluating the AI strategy and making sure there are strict guardrails and competence development going along with the tool assessment (I know this sounds corporate as shit but if you adopt corporate tools, you’re going to need corporate-level procedures). And the reason is …

AI is a power amplifier

It’s been a while since I stumbled upon some articles discussing the effects of AI on “productivity” and from these two thoughts stuck to my mind; “The workers who use AI burn out way quicker.” and the other being the name of this section “AI is a power amplifier.” And if you think about it, AI is indeed exactly that. It doesn’t make your work faster, it makes it more intense. And this amplification applies to everything; there suddenly more to do, more to keep an eye on, more to evaluate. More, more, more. But human mind can’t handle more. Not without expenses in other areas. Which then leads to, you guessed it, burnout.

The increase in cognitive requirement is absolutely gigantic and will easily exceed one’s cognitive abilities. In terms of code, this increase means you have to put more effort into making sure the code you’re working with is competently made because you need to account for both your margin for error and the margin of error of the AI tool. On the reviewer side, you need to put more effort into the actual review because there’s an increased chance of dealing with a code that was made not by someone who probably has some holes in their knowledge (at which point it’s up to you to be their mentor for a bit) but by someone who probably has no idea what they did and you have to teach them or at least lead them to the relevant knowledge. Notice how I’m not saying to keep them away from the AI toolchain and you’re probably wondering why it’s not a solution. The answer to that is simple:

Sloppy code is sloppy code. Period.

So, let’s have a situation like this. A maintainer of a project rejects a contribution as they don’t accept anything AI-assisted but they extend the “grace” to have the code redone by the contributor without using any AI tools. The contributor comes back after some time, providing a human-written code only to have it rejected again because it doesn’t meet the required standards.

What’s the problem? The contributor learnt nothing. Partly because they don’t know any better (the previous AI venture didn’t provide them with the knowledge required to handle the task properly) AND they weren’t provided any guidance. The latter is however a fault of the maintainer for not giving the contributor any direction. I’m not saying you’re supposed to mentor the contributor all the time. But if the will to learn is there, giving them at least some guidelines will do a lot of good in the long run. Just to give an idea, this is what I learnt years ago from my coach:

• If you know and have the time, educate
• If you know but don’t have the time to educate, provide guidelines for self-study
• If you don’t know or aren’t confident but know someone who could provide the knowledge, refer to them

Shunning the person away without giving them directions hurts both sides. It hurts the project because it gives away hostile environment and the sloppy coder will stay a sloppy coder.

Correct code is correct code, no matter how it’s made

Let’s take a look on something different. Let’s have piece of code that’s integrated into a project. The project then passes all validation with no issues and to top it up, it even satisfies any formal verification rules. Now, after you have all the results, you find out the code was AI-assisted. And yes, AI-assisted NOT vibe-coded. Should the code be rejected? Think about the chain of events; the piece of code went through a review WITHOUT being recognised or declared as AI-assisted, it was seamlessly integrated into the project which then passed all validation and verification criteria, including formal verification. There are three layers of proof speaking against rejection. Would rejection of the code be a correct approach?

One valid argument you could say is AI-assisted is recognisable. I’d disagree on the ground of the mechanism which “powers” programming languages; the formal languages. Programming languages, unlike natural languages, have much more rigid structure when it comes to syntax and semantics. There’s no hidden or secondary meaning that can be derived from context. And guess what operates well within a rigid structure of rules? Algorithms. Even algorithms which are heavily influenced by statistics like those used in machine-learning. Sure, you can reach a different result when it comes to optimising the solution for a given task but if that rule set is properly specified to the AI tool, with this guidance it’ll very likely reach the same solution as if a competent and experienced programmer would reach. Remember the “power amplifier” thing? In this specific use case the AI is indeed a cognitive amplifier in a sense that it allows you to “search” through the set of possible solutions quicker. At the same time however it increases the cognitive load of you having the ability to properly evaluate the proposed solution because it may be something you wouldn’t come up with in the first place. Not to mention the solution can have caveats, such as not being portable (if you know about genetic algorithms and their use in programmable HW design, then you might be familiar with some of them). But if one can’t distinguish between AI-assisted and fully human-made code when they both achieve the solution within given constraints, then either the review process is weak or the possible solutions are equivalent regardless of the approach.

So … what now?

That’s a good question. At the present time, the AI tools are so horribly inefficient for what they can do that I personally can’t justify their use, especially when the increased cognitive load is taken into account as well. It’s simply not within people’s mental capacity to handle the requirements and throwing more AI at the problem will only make it worse. And let’s be honest, when you think about the potential uses what do you end up with? You either get a second pair of hands which you have to constantly babysit, or you get a huge kick in the face showing you how utterly inept you are at the task you want to do, or a tool to do things you don’t even want to do in the first place at which point why are you even considering doing them?

But what to do now when so many people just don’t accept the problems? Well, let me at least try and propose the following when encountering a project which uses AI:

• Is the project vibe-coded? Don’t touch that with a kilometre long pole because the creator has no idea what they’re doing. And if they have the knowledge, they don’t have the necessary resources to handle the project, be it personal or managerial.
• Is the project lenient towards AI-assisted contributions? Hold them to the same standard as if they were human-made. The approval process stays the same and if set right, it’ll result in rejection of the sloppy code pieces because, as established above, sloppy code will be sloppy no matter if made with AI or just with general lack of competence.
• Is the project sensitive to security and is allowing AI-assisted contributions? In that case hold the proverbial knife to the neck of both the contributor AND the maintainers. You’re probably already doing the latter so extending it to the former shouldn’t be a big deal. Security stuff is no joke and if the people involved think they have the cognitive skills to handle the AI and human contributors? Then hold them to that words to the highest scrutiny and they fuck up, make it hurt.

There we go. This is, at least in my eyes, the nearest road to navigate the messed up landscape of tech people grossly overestimating their mental abilities only to end up face first in the meatgrinder. Trust me, we techies are idiots who have a master class in denial and absolute ultra elite class in lack of interpersonal skills (btw, that lack is deliberate). On the bright side, both can be fixed. The former by actually sitting down and exchanging knowledge and the latter by sticking our heads out of our dungeons and, you know, talking to people. Trust me, you might find out that the amount of stupid people is way lower than everyone is trying to tell you, including your “comrades”. And believe me, the social issues are a way bigger troublemaker than any technical issues in our pet projects going industrial scale.

R.R.A.

That's right, woof has gone for another fluffy adventure. Or I should actually say fox because this time it was Roky's time to shine. Back to the cold North of Malmö, but this time for a show. A show full colours and silly fluffy critters; the one and only Cirque Du Nord of Nordic Fuzzcon 2026. A perfect match for my bright orange side of me. And of course I was ready with a bit of a ringleader attire (mild shame I was missing the coat but time was merciless and besides, I can and will make it later). So let's not spend too much time outside and step right into the ring!

Day -1 ... Getting to the scene

First things first however, getting to the place. Which starts with packing all the stuff in. On one hand, I was already more experienced since the last time. On the other hand, new suit, more props and I need to keep space for con loot of course. Then there's the part with Roky's head which is a bit larger due to his acute ears. Luckily (thanks Kryptid for the tip), I made his ears removable (velcro + magnets in the “corners”) which significantly reduced the footprint (headprint :P) and allowed Roky to fit snuggly in the small suitcase together with sleeves and hands and of course his ears. The rest went into the big case, together with props, outfit and I also took my old fox kigu this time as a bit of an experiment since it matches Roky's colours pretty closely.

How did the trip go? Freezing. I remember leaving my place with really cold weather last year and this time around we also had snow as an extra. Especially when reaching Vienna. It was in fact so cold that one of the cargo doors of the bus froze over so getting the luggage in got a bit tricky. The driver also made a bit of an oopsie when going to the Vienna train station stop due to construction work at the place so he had to do some creative turnaround in the city. Everything went well in the end and arrival to the airport was all safe and good, if a bit chilly. Airport time was the usual. And I don't think I'll ever get tired of seeing my suitcase scanned and the security folks staring at the screen while I know exactly what's in there :P Overall though, nothing unusual happened. Well, almost. When sitting in the gate lobby, I noticed a familiar face. Familiar yet not certain they were who I thought ... until I noticed a very recognisable dragon hoodie. Yup, I've indeed spotted Brixxy who I'd be sharing the flight with. However, I haven't said anything at that time since I'm not the kind of person who “jumps on folks” they recognise unless I know them a little bit.

The flight itself was fine just a little rough towards the end due to windy weather above Copenhagen. Massive props to the pilot crew who landed the metal bird super smoothly in the wind. The last leg of the trip was easy. Hop on the train to Malmö and a short walk to the familiar hotel. I've got the same spot like last year so I really felt like coming home. Once in the room, I immediately freed Roky from his prison and brought his hearing back. After that I took a small walk around the town to grab something to eat although options were limited at the late hour. But it was already clear the city is being taken over by the legions of fluff. Sated, I headed back to the hotel to recover from the trip and gain energy for the adventures ahead.

Day 0 ... The obligatory Queue-Con and letting the fox loose for the first time

Alright, we're at the place. What's next? We all know; THE QUEUE CON! I was hesitating if I should try and get the badges immediately or wait for later but I decided for the former. Furthermore, being in the Silver sponsor tier, I had the advantage of a separate queue which did take a bit but eventually got through swiftly. Props to the badge design because my “clown Rawen” sticker I used for the badge got some neat background. I also got my first con loot. And just like last year, with an error :P I've opted for two fursuit-sized bandannas, one for Rawi, one for Roky. Rawi's one was ok but the one for Roky got the wrong name and design. Looks like someone made an oopsie and swapped the bandannas accidentally. I was informed that I can try con-ops so we'll see how this little side-quest goes.

I spent a little more time loitering around the place only to find two really known dragons. One clad in pure white and already causing mischief with his loooong tail and the other in shades of blue with distinctly coloured eyes (green and purple) and with some parts of the suit missing (not for long though). I took a picture of the duo and introduced myself to the blue dragon to reveal that we in fact know each other. Ok, enough being coy. The duo was Sushi and Rioku. And as you can see, I survived just fine Rio's strong grip.

After our brief encounter I went back to my room to drop off the loot and already felt the familiar itch: “C'mon, you know you want to suit up. Even if just for a short while.” And so I did, opting for the casual look of Roky with his red scarf. It also served as a nice test of my swappable soles for feet since I have to take a walk to the main hotel. Good news, the feet hold up really well. I'm honestly a bit worried that when I eventually try to swap them back the velcros go off. I already had to reglue them few times but I'm confident they survive this time around.

So how did the first suiting as Roky feel? Not bad. It took me a bit to get into the right energy since I'm more used to being the woof but I eventually started loosening up. Something I've noticed however is that Roky's head is a bit heavier so I got tired a bit quicker. The lounge wasn't ready yet but the area around it provides a good “hideout” to catch a breath. I also still felt the travelling fatigue a little which impacted my endurance. But I was definitely having fun as Roky. However, the body needs energy so after bit of suiting I went back to my room to switch back to my “meaty” form and ventured for a bite to eat. Or more specifically, a noodle to eat (don't worry, Kai-Tan is fine :P). Well sated, I headed back to the hotel to potentially capture some pictures only to find a familiar face yet again. And this time, I didn't hold back and talked to Brixxy. And the potential for adventures expanded.

I loitered around the hotel a bit but wasn't lucky with pictures yet. People were mostly arriving or doing the “queue-con” part of the journey. That said, I've stumbled upon yet another familiar floof, the art mentor Mt. Kanjon who I met first exactly a year ago in this very place. This time around without the suit but the chance to see Grout would of course present itself. It feels quite neat being at a con and meeting up with folks you've known from earlier.

I eventually headed back to the hotel to grab a bit of a rest to release the fatigue from previous day. After a while, I was intrigued to suit up again. The lounge was already open this time so I'd have the proper resting place. Furthermore, I really wanted to try the “almost fullsuit” Roky. I didn't need to convince myself for too long and after just a moment, I was standing in my room, “fully” suited for the first time. And honestly, it's such a weird and great feeling looking into the mirror and seeing this grinning orange (two shades but still) critter staring back, barely any hint of human body left.

With this feeling, I ventured back to the main place to roam around and just be the orange bundle of fluffy silliness. Took me a bit to build up my endurance back so my first roams were short but eventually I started getting there. Furthermore, being in “full” suit really helped me ease into a “creature mode”, making staying quiet in the suit far easier. Like, with my woof I can't do it as easily but this time around I really got into the “no words, just critter noises”. I also got the first catch (first attendee scanned my suiter badge for the collector's game) and it was yet another member of the Brixxy fleet, Pikati. Speaking of which, Rio who's been around got another hug, this time a fluffy one (also survived but I've been warned he likes to give uppies; probably saving them for when he's in the full suit) and I also managed to make Brixxy's queue-con a little easier to handle since I wandered around the queue which was just never-ending. Seriously, the moment it moved forward, it immediately refilled. The place however started becoming fluffier and fluffier from all the folks arriving. At the same time however, the day started reaching the time when the meat inside the suit starts getting tired so back to the hotel we go to rest up and get ready for the next day.

Day 1 ... The show starts and I'm a critter

Alright, the first proper day of the con. And you know me, I basically live cons in the suit so of course I was itching to let the fox loose. But first, some food. Not to mention, the weather outside was freezing so it would've been a good idea to wait a little bit before venturing into the cold nordic winter. Eventually however I jumped into the “full suit” and braved the winter to the venue. Believe me, having the suit was a huge advantage because Sweden brought the nordic cold this time around. As I got in, I headed to the lounge to take a bit of a breather from the walk (those who know can confirm that walking in feetpaws isn't the most comfortable thing) and also to soak up some warmth because the weather was super chilly (reminder for me that fur isn't windproof). After that, I ventured out to the waking up Clarion to see if I can catch a familiar face. And after while I did; a tall silly giggly bat Protox, accompanied by their lovely husband. I've joined them for a bit in my fuzzy foxy form as they were waiting for the arrival of another fellow critter, Spikey who arrived in just a moment. We mingled there for a bit and of course engaged in the “furry bartering” aka sticker trading :3

After a while we decided to move on only to spot Brixxy Brightmane in his fluffy form. And with a small adorable jingly hat on one of his horns. If only my paws weren't too big for the camera. I've had it with me but Roky's paws are a little bit too clumsy for it (Rawi's paws are less bulky so I can handle the camera better). Of course that doesn't detract from me having my critter fun but I'll have to switch between being suited and unsuited if I want to take pictures without taking my paws off.

And believe me, I don't think I remember being this immersed in a character over the course of my suiting experience. Not sure if it was the atmosphere of the place or me being “fully suited” but I really got to a point where this “meatbag” was just there to fill the suit and make it move around and do silly “arfs” whenever foxy saw someone. Or even just walking around, each and every step you could hear me going “Arf! Arf! Arf!”. The only moment I broke out of the character was in the suit lounge to catch a break. But outside of that I was completely fox-brained.

Speaking of the lounge, having a repair corner came in handy this time around since the harsh weather was really making a dent to the suit but we'll get to the later. This time around I just stopped by to just to add some extra glue to some of my claws because they were getting a little bit loose for my comfort and I didn't want to lose them. As I was doing this little fix, a fellow fluffy critter, Heartglow stopped by asking for a bit of a help with repairing their suit head (some stitches at the cowl got loose). I took a glance and I was like “Yeah, looks easy enough. I think I can do that.” And about ten minutes later the head was fixed just like new! Heartglow was really glowing bright after I finished. So yeah, another thing I would've never expected to be asked to help with on my list :P

After my fill of suiting I went back to the hotel to get some rest before heading back to hopefully catch some pictures. Furthermore, I wanted to continue my “Rescue Roky's con bandanna” story. Was I successful? Not yet since ConOps couldn't help me at the moment but they navigated me to the con store once it opens. Not bad, we got more directions. I loitered around the place a little bit and caught some floofs with my camera. I also found first fellow fedi-floofs (Toaster, Blouie, Karb and Polarie). After getting some late lunch (I usually get a bigger breakfast on cons so I can last longer for suiting and to deal better with the looser daily routine), I got back to the hotel yet again to rest before the evening Brixxy's community meet-up. Something unusual for me since I rarely hang around streamers or artists of this media in general, partly due to communities like that not really being great and partly me being highly resistant to “being star-struck”.

I can confidently say it was a really pleasant and cosy evening. The event was happening at the third floor. I arrived, as would be expected of me, suited up in my full partial this time around. Once I arrived to the spot, I looked around but of course my poor vision failed me. Luckily, Roky is such a bright eye-catcher, that Brixxy easily spotted me and navigated me towards the right place; which could easily be half of the floor because we basically slowly occupied it as the group slowly group. I found my spot on one of the couches next to Glut, Vtreo, Streo and Snox. Glut, being absolutely thrilled by my foxxo fluff very quickly earned an orange hug. Gotta say they're a really cuddly bean. And very energetic and bouncy one too :3 The hangout was cosy, accompanied by some nordic snacks (so much licorice) and later with a round of “Too Many Kobolds”. It was quite an experience since our group played it for the very first time and the rules already looked intimidating. To explain the game in a nut-shell (a very small nut-shell), you're a dragon and you have a crowd of kobolds waiting in front of your cave. Your task is to adopt these critters and provide them with needs to make them happy. Trust me, I'm really oversimplifying the rules :P

How did I do? Not bad for my first run as I finished second. The opening ceremony was also happening at the same time but Brixxy was equipped with a tablet to provide the stream so we could watch in between turns. Of course, handling a large community of folks is busy so Brixxy was running around a little to spend at least few moments with everyone. As time passed, another fluffy critter arrived. This time in full and it was Tulius, Rioku's creator and self-titled “weird canine thing”. And all I can say is, he's got one insanely good suit. I wasn't able to take the picture at that time but I managed to catch him later. Overall, the evening went great and it was really cosy experience. And if you happen to know Brixxy, then it was an evening very much in his cosy spirit :3 Furthermore, the evening was also a birthday celebration for Kiro Whitefin. Talk about a great time to celebrate.

As I got back to the hotel, a pile of messages was waiting for me at Mastodon since I posted the picture of fedi-floofs I “caught”. Eichi propped up an idea of making a small fedi-meetup if possible. The issues would be organisation since we'd be scattered around and of course we haven't got an official event like the EF one. But after some pondering and inspired by Brixxy's way of handling the community night, the agreed to think about how to do it and let the idea brew for the night.

Day 2 ... Roky the Ringleader, CoVahr arfs for everyone's ears, Valhalla “lockdown”, first loot and a spontaneous Fedi-meet

Day 2, the con is in full swing and fox is ready to be released again. And this time, let's head out in style :3 That's right, time to make the outfit work. And all I can say is, it takes quite a bit of fiddling to dress up with extra fluffy parts. It doesn't help that the parts aren't perfectly fitting on me (first time I did something like this so it's expected to be rough) but damn did it look good once assembled. I opted for the walk to the place without the head on worried about the wind a bit and the hat being really tall. I already instinctively grabbed my foxxo ears whenever a bigger gust of wind decided to appear to make sure I don't lose them.

Once I arrived to Clarion, I headed to the lounge to put on the rest of the suit. No, I didn't try and tie bow in paws but I definitely managed quite well even without seeing it proper. Now fully dressed, it was time to set off for the roam. I can't really tell what effect it had on the attendees at the time but believe me that I felt amazing, bringing one of my favourite pieces of are to life. I also stumbled upon fluffy Brixxy again for a quick exchange before we headed our own ways since he had another event on schedule. After roaming around the place a little bit, I peeked into one of the back corridors leading to the small panel rooms because the con photoshoot was held in one of them by Tarka Tokala, just like last year. Seeing basically no queue, I decided to give the fancy fox some pictures. The tiny queue went quick so I wasn't melting from the heat too much. The small room gets warm quite quickly, especially with the big lamps.

Once it was my turn and Tarka saw me in full, he knew what to do. First, I was given a small cane or a magic wand which could serve the same purpose. And believe me, I was in my element and immediately got into the character. After the first batch of pictures, I asked for the one “missing piece” of Roky ... the ringleader jacket. Tarka was completely in on the idea, including the folks who were waiting there for their turn. A small funny detail, due to my relatively small body shape, the jacket fit me perfectly. And once on, Roky the Ringleader stepped right into the spotlight. Seriously, I was absolutely immersed. To a point if you asked me who I am, I'd answer “I''m Roky” with no hesitation. But more on that later. After the second batch of pictures, one more idea came to Tarka's mind. I was given a smaller top hat and was asked to “perform a magic trick”. And so I did. And I made a small plushy Mausie appear! After this one, the session concluded so now it's just time to wait for the pictures to be processed. But trust me, my mood was in space.

I went for a quick break and cool-down after spending the time in a small warm room and headed outside. The weather was nice and sunny so anyone who'd be taking pictures of suiters had great conditions. Speaking of which, a familiar foxxo appeared: Loimu with his partner Dr4gonMouse. Loimu was out of suit at the moment being a handler for the proto-bean. We exchanged few words and took some pictures too. And well, I'll let you be the judge of “art becoming real”.

Afterwards I started heading towards the bridge since people were starting to congregate there. Why? The con group photo was being made. And this time around the organisation was way better. I was navigated by one of the media staff folks towards the bridge to the end of the huge group of fluffy critters. And just like last year, there was already a bunch of locals waving and taking pictures of the furs. And among them few people with huge cameras to take the main one. The entire thing went by quickly and I also happened to have a familiar face next to me. Or I should say fluffy loaf of bread, Tosh. And to make my smile inside a suit even wider, a Gabumon suiter joined us there too. Can this day get any better? Well, that's for time to tell.

After the group photo, I went back to the hotel to so I can put Roky for rest for a bit, grab something to eat and head to Valhalla to treat my ears to the musical talent of none other than CoVahr. And believe me when I tell that the walk to the hotel took a while. How come? Because I've had folks stopping me for pictures along the way. And let's be honest. This bright foxxo? With his style? And with the happiest trot in the world? So hard to resist.

Anyway, I don't want to toot my horn too much because I can spend hours gushing over Roky (my friend can fully confirm that). I got back to my room, changed into the “human clothes”, grabbed a bit to eat and headed for the concert. And trust me, I missed my suit. Not because of the looks but because of the chilly weather. The extra layer of fur would help a lot. I was to be a bit late for the start of the event but that turned into an advantage because I avoided the queue. The trip to Valhalla also gave me a nice bonus of the rain dragon Rioku in full this time. Due to a delayed start of the event, I arrived nicely in time just a few minutes before the start. All I can say is ... Wow! Just ... Wow! Like, I know CoVahr is talented but still. Seeing him play so effortlessly was just stunning. And once the full band slowly assembled, it was such a treat. Not just for my ears but also the eyes with the tiny antics of the folks thrown in for funsies.

The event went by so quickly but I was super satisfied. What came after however was ... a little bit less satisfying. The end of the concert coincided with an another event; one which many people would call one of the main events. The Dealer's Den. When I was coming in the queue was already forming and believe me, when I left the Theatre Stage, just one look at the crowd had me like “NOOOOOPE!” so I headed back to the hotel. And it was a really good choice because the moment I left, the Valhalla got into a “lockdown” mode for entry because it was full. Yes, you're reading this right. The place got so crowded they had to close the door for entrance for a bit. The “full lockdown” luckily ended quickly and organisers switching into the “1 in, 1 out” mode to allow for some throughput. But still, fully crowding the place was something new.

However, I wanted to visit dealer's den relatively early because I had a “package” to pick up. Also, the fedi-meet was agreed upon between 18:30 and 19:00 so I had a bit of a schedule to keep. After a bit of breather back at my room and Valhalla reopening, I decided the brave the den again. Once I arrived, there was still a bit of a queue but it was moving at a steady pace so I decided to wait it out. And it really wasn't too bad. Took maybe half an hour to get in. I didn't want to spend too much time in the den since I planned the actual “raid” for another day so I mainly too a tour around to see where am I going to stop next time. But of course I wasn't leaving empty-handed. So my first, and on that day the only stop, was Arven for a pair of shirts (yes, I know I'm a shirt goblin :P) and a sticker book because “I'm surrounded by stickers” (seriously, the Scar quote is so fitting and having Scar as a fox is just EEEEEE!!!!). My next steps however led me further into the back of the den to a table of the rebellious yeen, Mlice. Because it was her, who's been safeguarding the important package; a badge for my woof which I've commissioned at EF and decided to collect here so we don't need to play the “post office lottery”. And oh me, oh my ... What an absolutely gorgeous piece of art the badge is. Like, I've already seen it on pictures but seeing it live with my very own eyes is something else. And as Mlice very accurately pointed out, painting a black wolf in watercolours is really challenging. I'll let you be the appreciators of the result but in my eyes, the result is AAA for “Absolutely, Astonishingly, Amazing”. Of course I was wearing it around whenever I was out of suit.

With my small loot pile (for now), I came back to the hotel to drop it off and get ready for the fedi-meet which for me meant suit up in my partial and try and secure a spot on the third floor. I managed to secure a spot in the corner and started looking around for fedi folks. First arrival was RealZero, followed later by Naima and Gallen who I stumbled upon in the suit lounge shortly after my return to Clarion. Few minutes later, Colin (bald eagle), joined our little group and after a while I spotted a fluffy grey woof with a dark red mane, Eichi who I carefully navigated through the maze of couches on the third floor. Finally I've led Blouie (rare sight of the doggo without the suit) to our corner. As our little chatty group went on, we were joined by Sebi and after while a grey foxxo with bright orange stripes, Grout (Kanjon) happened to stumble upon our corner just as we took the suiters picture. We stayed for a bit until roughly 20:30 as we slowly dispersed our little group. For a highly improvised event, it worked out reasonably well. And with the fedi-meet, the second day of the con came to a close.

Day 3 ... Open house gremlin, DD raid, Roky shows his moves

Friday, the day of the “Open House” event and also my rave night (TIMEWARP being a set made of my growing-up years). So how to juggle these two things because of course I want to suit for folks from the outside the con but at the same time I have to save energy for the night. I still opted for some critter time in the morning because you know I can't resist doing that. And Roky is was made to make people smile so it's basically his job to be around. So I got to Clarion, all suited up. But first I had to go for some repairs because my feetpaws started showing A LOT of wear. I did a quick fix to make sure my feet survive at least through the Saturday's parade and ventured into the crowds. And let's be honest, there's not much to say other than me being silly orange critter.

But as I wanted to keep sufficiently awake (the tons of suiting I did really started to weigh in) I returned to my room to de-suit and ventured to Valhalla again to hopefully do my dealer's den raid. I got in and immediately saw the crowd in front. I stumbled upon Brixxy who was just coming out of the den so we chatted a bit but I decided to go back to Clarion for some pictures. I also took a small walk around the town and stopped for some afternoon coffee after being “coffee-deficient” over the course of the week. I gotta say, Swedes have some nice sweets.

After my small break I ventured towards Valhalla again to see whether the queue has moved. Lo and behold, it did and it went super quick. This means “Raid the Den” time. I left my small backpack at the hotel as a form of “limiting myself” but that didn't keep me from some neat loot. So what did I get? I think the pictures speak for themselves. Long story short, bunch of decorative pins, a chewy stick for my woof and maybe foxxo too, some absolutely gorgeous hoodies, a real-life save button for my memories :P and suit sprays so my floofs smell nice and fresh. Loaded up, I went to drop the loot off and rest a bit before the night.

Because this night was dedicated to let Roky out to the dance floor. But first I need to get to Valhalla. Suited up. In the evening. In a really chilly weather. And in my really worn feetpaws. How did I go? Allow me to present a tiny timeline:

• I get suited up
• Nice stroll to the hotel lobby
• Step outside the hotel
• ALMOST end up in a telemark position

Yup, the everyone's “favourite” Snubbelrisk (Swedish for “Risk of slipping”) was absolutely real. Especially because it started slightly snowing too. And let me tell you, EVA foam with no texture is downright lethal on wet and slushy surfaces (and it'll get worse later). With this almost really rough learning experience, I began my skating towards Valhalla. Since you're reading this, you can safely assume I survived just fine. But there were definitely more skating moments. After my figure skating performance to Valhalla was concluded, I caught a bit of a breather in the lounge and ... and here we go. The dance started with some old familiar hip-hop sounds so a little slower to ease into the vibe. But don't worry, the music picked up the pace in next segments, going into 80s – 90s rhythms later and some progressive after that. And how did I do in the suit? Honestly, I barely needed breaks. Putting the main dance floor into Valhalla was a really great choice by the org team. The dance floor was massive so it didn't crowd up that easily. Furthermore, the space around the bar allowed for taking a break on the spot without having to go for the lounge. So yeah, you nailed this one, NFC team :3

I kept going until around midnight. I could probably last for the entire set but my body was starting to feel the wear and I also wanted to make sure my feetpaws stay together due to the wear. Further more, I wanted to get back as long as the weather is still somewhat reasonable. But yes, Roky can dance. And not too bad. Or at least I really don't give a damn what I look like as long as I have fun.

Day 4 ... Rain on the parade = fancy foxy to the rescue, last-minute picks in DD and playing the picture game

Saturday, the day the parade and suiters group picture is happening. Except it's not. How come? Well, the weather didn't get any better and the intended parade path would be all covered in slushy, half-melted snow. So as much as it was painful to announce, the con staff had to cancel the events. And believe me, it's a far smarter decision because there would be likely be quite a few injuries. That said, I was mildly bummed that I wouldn't be able to let Roky out on the walk. But nobody said I can't let the fox loose at the venue. The weather however wasn't great so I had to wait a bit to make sure I can arrive at the place at least somewhat safely without an injury. And let's go for the trademark outfit because that's what the idea was in the first place.

And what was supposed to be long walk turned into my longest suiting session of the con. How come? Because the atmosphere of the moment was just absolutely energising. The hotel turned into the stage for me and I was ringleader and the performer of the show. Both for the folks at the con and the locals. And every time Roky was spotted, a wave, a high five and polite tip of my hat (which I managed to lose few times because I bowed too much but putting it back on was easy even suited up) was always in order. I don't think I ever got so many people stop me for pictures. The joyful energy was just keeping me going. Of course the occasional break was needed because it wouldn't be wise to push myself past my limits. Nevertheless, I spent all the time that'd normally be occupied by the parade and more in the suit, making folks smile left and right with the contagious joy. I've also been caught by Creideiki who visited the con for the day to get at least a little bit of the con experience and keep the photografur hobby going. Speaking of fellow fedi furs, one challenge remained. Meeting a woofderg who was among the first people to greet me last year only to see each other just once; Rayu. We kept yet again missing one another so I poked the fluffy beast whether he's around. He mentioned he'll be suiting later but he's been around the place in the chill floor. So ... I took a gamble and ventured there. Lo and behold, the gamble paid off. The woofderg has been spotted (and there's more later ;3)

When the time to head back to the hotel came I let the fox into the city so I could spread the joy at least a bit outside the Clarion. And again, my trip took so much longer because people just couldn't resist stopping by the happy fox, dancing in the wet wintery streets. I'd love to describe the sight in words but I'm afraid my writing skills fail me here.

Eventually, I got back to the hotel for a bit of rest since my feet really needed it and after a short round around the Clarion for some potential pictures moment I went back to the Dealer's Den to maybe get some last minute things if something catches my eyes. And it did in a shape of some art and badges. Two of these are eastern dragon themed so ... Kai-Tan's time to shine will come. After dropping off the last minute loot I ventured back to Clarion to yet again try and catch some pictures only to stumble upon Rayu yet again, this time suited up but at the way out. He still stopped for a picture despite looking a little weary from the event he was attending (even the big fluffy beasts need rest ;3).

Oh, I almost forgot. What about the “Rescue Roky's bandanna” story? Well, I had the time to swing by the con store so I did. I asked the folks there and we settled the issue by getting the blank one. So in the end, I've got one for Rawi with his name and one with no name. One could say mild shame but then again, it becomes universal for everyone. And it being so colourful will fit my sheppy :3.

The rest of the day I spent resting since I really needed it after my long suiting session. I was tempted to maybe go for another dance but the weather turned really miserable so going there with suit was a no go and I really don't have the confidence to dance out of suit. At least not yet.

Day 5 ... The show comes to its grand finale, so let's free the foxy for one more go

This is it. The final day of the con. And knowing the inevitable closing ceremony is coming started waking up those feelings you don't want. The utterly miserable weather outside didn't help the mood either. So what now? How to stave off the creeping post-con sads?

In the end, the rain outside stopped so I decided to suit up for one more time. However, I kept the feetpaws off because they're in desperate in need of some work after last time. The wet conditions were absolutely relentless. So yeah, I looked a little weird in my suit + kigu with just my shoes on but Roky has black feet and the kigu has black ankle cuffs so it blends in with my under armour without breaking the illusion too much. Besides, once I get immersed in the character everything will work out fine. There's also a far lower risk of slipping in normal shoes so I'm safer in that way too.

I don't think I can say much more than being a silly critter is just too much fun for me. I just love getting immersed into that feeling of being this fluffy bundle of happiness. If nothing else, I hope that I managed to raise someone's mood at least a bit. I also ventured into upper floors only to find Brixxy's group chilling before the queue for the closing ceremony starts to form. I joined them for a bit only to receive some cosy back scratches from Glut. They'd feel weird out of suit but in suit, I didn't mind at all. I chilled for a little bit there and once the group started to disperse I too headed back to the hotel since I was suited up and didn't want to spend the closing ceremony in the suit. Sure, it meant I'm going to miss a part of it but the streams were going well so I managed to catch the second half. The obligatory funny statistics were shown but there's one particular performance stuck in my mind and its message is something EVERYONE needs. And I mean EVERYONE: A song from “The Greatest Showman” called “This is me”.

I feel a little bad for being made of stone (not as much anymore but still a bit too stoic for my taste) so it didn't affect me as much (truth be told, I'm trying to embody it as much as I can) but I can imagine the amount of happy tears that were cried during that performance. Because in this era of constant judgement leading us into all the nasty -isms, standing in front of others and screaming loud and proud “THIS IS ME!”, hell, even just standing in front of the mirror and saying “This is me. I love me as I am and I want to care for myself.” is extremely hard due to all the judgement passed on us from outside. But if you can, make this your resolution for the year. Get yourself to look at yourself and say to yourself something kind, even if it's hard. Why? Because every single affirmation, no matter how small, keeps chipping at that cage world is trying to keep you in. Because the louder you shout to the world “This is me” with no fear, the more people will start seeing you. And they'll start asking who locked you in. And sooner than you can imagine, there's a group of people helping you break the cage. And once the cage finally gives up and falls apart, unleashing a wave which comes for those who locked you in. Yes, the fight is weary. It's a marathon. But that marathon is worth running to the end.

Ok, enough sentimental words (not really since there will be more but those are reserved for the end). The day was still long ahead and I wanted to keep the PCD away so I grabbed my camera and went back to Clarion. And wow was it an amazing idea. Because the official con may be over but trust me, the place looked like the con was about start any moment. Folks just hanging out, mingling, playing, dancing ... the show really went on. Out of all the days I spent in suit, lacking pictures, I managed to catch up nicely. And even caught more fedi folks, Neppy and ... drum roll, please ... RAYU! And this time in full suit. It was also accompanied with a bit of a oopsie on my end because I kind of forgot he has never seen me out of suit and it was already bit too dark outside so my badge wasn't readable. But everything was resolved and the werewoof-derg got all the hugs that were missed last year. Another nice floof I stumbled upon was Erel (Tosh's saber cat) and yes, they still have all the sass.

I also happened to run into Brixxy saying goodbye to everyone as he was already heading home. And of course the gang was yet again occupying the third floor :P Speaking of fedi folks, just after I parted ways with Joey who we happened to get into a nice chat, I have yet again stumbled upon Grout (Kanjon) and all I can say ... he's such a lovable gremlin of a fox. His energy is just contagious. So much that I felt the itch run back to the hotel and put Roky on for just bit longer. Just one more round of suiting before I have to pack him. But my responsible me won in the end. Besides, I wouldn't be able to properly dry the suit before travelling home. And so the hardest part of every con began; packing up all the stuff. And it wasn't only difficult because of the feels but also because I had to sort the loot right with all my things.

Day 6 ... The show always goes on. Even if you don't see it.

Last day in Malmö. With all the luggage ready, all that was remaining was the inevitable wait before heading out. I was considering to spend it roaming around the town a bit but well, the weather had a different opinion. As such, I've at least tried to spend the time productively with things like sorting out my future suit-making plans and dropping down some ideas that I might work on in the future (Garawimon suit when?).

In the end, there really isn't much more to say about the trip home. Maybe just that the flight was very fluffy with some folks even travelling with their heads on. Seriously, how in the world did you manage in the heated plane? That said, I need to learn how to travel with lighter cargo so I can keep my head with me in the case and possibly put it on at the airport for some shenanigans myself. So far I can only potentially do that when I travel by train because I don't need to smoosh my head into the small suitcase.

In the end, the con was amazing for me. Sure, nothing is perfect (seriously, Clarion, get rid of that revolving door at the entrance because having a queue-con trying to get INTO the hotel is not a nice thing to do) but overall the experience was great.

But beware because something is afoot. A crime has been committed and only we can solve the case of ... Crime Noir.

See you next year, Malmö.

R.R.A.

A small personal PS ... I am Roky. There's no doubt about it anymore.

Yup, it's time for some more feels, as promised. Just like last year, the con has left a special mark on me. When I ventured to NFC2025, I went in completely blind, not knowing what to expect but with an intention to experience the con for the first time. And when I arrived to Clarion and set foot inside the lobby and seen all the critters, it was as if the entire place said “We were waiting for you, Rawen. Welcome home!” right to my soul. From that con I came back a completely different person.

This year, I ventured out knowing there are people to meet and spend some time with, no matter how brief. Be it the lovely couple Loimu and Dr4gonmouse, the overseas folks like Kanjon or Blazi or the fedi-folks I spend time with usually in online space (Rayu, Naima, Karb, Polarie ... the list goes on). Then of course there was Brixxy, Rioku and all the creators who have managed to restore some faith in the streaming scene which I otherwise denounced for being too, well, shallow. But they have shown me that there are indeed some really cosy and funny people and I'm so happy they're around, doing what they're doing because they like it.

And finally there's Roky. My personified joy and role model. When anyone asks about him, the art of him in the green suit is the very first image of him I show. Why? Because when my friend made it and I've seen it for the first time, the first thing I said was: “Oh my ... He's PERFECT!!!!” Since that time I wanted to be him. I even have small written stories of him helping me on the way onward from times before I was capable of making the suit. And now I'm here, looking at myself in the mirror and saying with no hesitation: “I'm Roky.” Not just outside, but inside too. He's not just a role model anymore. He is me. And I am him. All the immersion I felt during the con in the suit wasn't just me enjoying the experience. It was ME, Roky; living, breathing, dancing and making everyone around me smile. The art made alive. The dream becoming reality. And I am that dream.

So sing with me: “Look out, 'cause here I come” “And I'm marching on to the beat I drum.” “I'm not scared to be seen, I make no apologies,” “THIS IS ME!”

Roky

Neppy

But why am I talking about this. An inspiration came from two places: my probably the longest following on YT, Skallagrim, and reply to one of my discussions from BSky when I got into a talk about socmed and algorithms. The former pretty much aligns with my views on “getting big” and the latter, especially one answer, gives me an insight into how people perceive and use social media and what motivates them. Curious? Well, you know what to do.

When I started this writing endeavour, I did it to toy with just putting my thoughts out there into the “blender”. Just letting the inner workings of that sponge I carry in my head out into the wild without any broader motivation. Sure, I occasionally peek at statistics to just see the numbers, what kind of writing has what impact but in the end, it’s just numbers. What I like to observe more is who interacted with the result. Was is just my “inner circle”? Or did I somehow let out a thought that appealed to a wider audience? If so, what kind of audience and how? Did they like what I said? Did it have some impact, positive or negative? Was the impact so high that it deserves further proliferation? All these are interesting in their own way. Even more when someone who’s already more established gives my ramblings a small boost and suddenly the floodgates open. My reaction to these is always: “Oh dear, this is about to cause some shitstorm.” Luckily (seriously, I’m still shocked I haven’t got piled on due how I approach some things, but I’m absolutely on some people’s shitlists), the interactions have been good. There weren’t many, but they were largely good. And I’d like to keep it that way.

“But why, Rawi? You have all the data. You know what has the impact. You could start using it to grow, maybe even do this stuff for the living.” Woah, stop right there, buster. First off, I like having hobbies. You know, the things I do just for my own pleasure to take my head away from the serious stuff. And I’d very much like to keep these hobbies without turning them into a job. I already work mostly with my head and I’d like to have those brain cells have some time off instead of working all the time. “But Rawi, having a job that’s also your passion …” causes that passion to go away because it becomes a mechanism for survival. And do you want your entire life be in a survival mode? I highly doubt that, even if you’re into “feeling in danger”.

Secondly and this very often comes with “getting big”, your audience or customer base changes. Take “big” YouTube creators (using the term here intentionally to cover all the forms of videos they create) as an example. Thousands, sometimes millions of “subscribers”, videos coming out in a span of days … and they’re all the same. Same style of thumbnails, similar structure, same sanitised and ear-grating language (seriously, algo-speak is my pet peeve). Everything is this highly predictable, squeaky clean, reeking of the hospital disinfectant. Everything is how the customer wants it. Who’s the customer, you ask? YouTube. Yup, it’s not your community, not your subscribers. Because if they were your customers, you’d spend the effort into giving them what they want without having to bend over to rules you have no control over. Because doing so gives control to them. Remember who creates the “algorithm”. And they do so freely because they know you’ll bend over. This way they remove your freedom. This way they dehumanise your community into assets. And by the way, you can’t please them, ever. Because it’s not their goal. Do you want a historical example? Look up “Normalisation in Czechoslovakia”. It was during 1970s shortly after the USSR invasion (or as they call it, “liberation”) and it’s very much the thing that’s happening on corporate social media in the West.

How about another example, something that extremely likely affects your day-to-day life because you probably spend around eight hours there. If you work in a large company or corporate, you’ve absolutely been present at some form of meeting where the “executive” talks about how the company is doing who are they working with etc. And let me tell you something you probably already know: BULL-FUCKING-SHIT! Ok, that’s a little harsh but vast majority of that drivel is exactly that. Sure, you’re probably working on something either internally or for an external customer but I use the word customer loosely here. Why? Because they’re not a customer. They’re an asset. Just like you are an asset. Ever thought why a certain department is called “Human Resources”? How delightfully human-oriented, being called a resource. You know what else is a resource? Coal. And what do you do with coal? Or would do in the past? Throw it into the fire. Anyway, I’m getting sidetracked. Take a guess who’s the actual customer. That’s right, shareholders. You know, the people who do absolutely nothing for the company and only rake in the dividends. Do you know what an organism that benefits from the host is called? Parasite. But I don’t want to get into this rant. There are plenty already. The point is, they’re big so their customer base shifted.

And this is why I’m not motivated to go big and where my motivation aligns with Skall’s. I’d lose authenticity. I’d stop doing things people like (or dislike). I’d stop doing what I like. All to please someone or something that doesn’t care in the first place. This is why I don’t like algorithms and why the thought from the algorithm discussion kept lingering in my mind until today. The discussion was about how algorithms are dangerous and force on you what someone else wants to watch. One of the participants was defending the use of algorithms so things can be found and engaged with. My response to that was that people managed to do that all the time through actual contact or by actively seeking instead of being fed things, using Mastodon as the example of the algorithm-free network on which I somehow managed to build some small reach. Their response was that they tried Mastodon but could never have to pick up, no matter what they tried for promotion. The final response from them was: “But yes, if you want a social site where you’re not bothered, then Mastodon is the place.”

If you want a social site where you’re not bothered … Wait, what? You get into a social site to get bothered? Am I missing something here? I thought being in social spaces is about connecting to people that I can’t connect with easily in real life. To share my interests with those who I wouldn’t be able to normally. To be, you know, human and extending that humanity by using the online space as a form of a highway or a railway. I’m not interested in building a following. I’m not a cult leader for crying out loud. So yeah, I in fact don’t want to be bothered on social media. I don’t want to “walk on a stage and perform a sermon for my underlings, praising salvation, while considering them lesser beings”. I want my social media to be like a cosy cafe in which I sometimes get in, grab a tasty snack, maybe draw or write something and chat with cosy folks. Because such connections might one day come in handy in an unexpected way. To borrow a quote from Winnie to Pooh:

I don’t want to walk behind you for I don’t want to follow. Nor I want to walk in front of you for I don’t want to lead. I want to walk beside you and be your friend.

R.R.A.

#InTheMazeOfThoughts

I can’t start with anything other than the visit to the Gardens of Zen; my first ever furcon. And while the immediate magic has waned already, the experience was eye- and mind-opening. What I didn’t anticipate back then however was the long-term impact. That trip has sown seeds of something I was to figure out months later. Either way, being around my fluffy kin was a breath of life I desperately needed. And it fueled my drawing skills too since not only I got some inspiration and audience (and “victims” of my ideas :P) but also a mentor and motivator (Kanjon just knows how to do this job ;3).

Speaking of fluffy adventures, Eurofurence happened later in September and it only built up on that which I unknowingly started in February; restoring and rebuilding my connection with people around me. Yes, that one thing I didn’t know I lacked for I always stayed “on the side”. Turns out I wasn’t looking in the right places and when there was a chance I didn’t take it. But that changed this year and I’ve got folks to look forward to. Even better, it made the online experiences way more “alive”. Thank you Kianga and co. for making the FediFloofs meet-up :3

But what about my crafty endeavours? Well, you’ve seen the results towards the end of the year. I dropped the hint last year that my future is orange. And this year I took that to my heart and “gave life” to Roky, my foxy self. And just as he makes me smile in his arts, he does the same when I “don” him. There’s no way I can stay steady being him. I made him to be the “opposite” of my old self. Turns out he’s me. Specifically the happiest side of me. Now each time I look at my “workbench”, two faces stare at me. One being my woof with his subtle smile, fangs peeking out and the other being my bright foxy with his open smile and cosy eyes. Bringing my floofs to life really brings me joy and there’s still more to do. Body suits for both, the outfit for Roky; hell, who says I need to just stop there? I’ve got quite a few pieces of art of my floofs in various costumes. And I got the tools to make them! Looks like there’s a bit of “playing dress up” for this woof in the future.

But the year of course wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes being the one person folks lean on for help can be tough to handle. And with my ways to recover being limited, this can wear me down quite quickly. I really need to learn my limits. Further more, my place of living threw away any remaining ounce of respect it ever had, neglecting its own history. For me, who’s aware of this and isn’t willing to just “bend down and shut up”, it makes my blood boil, pushing me towards the kind of anger which does nothing but hurt my already fragile soul. Combine this with choices of some that will slowly make me an “undesirable” while claiming to protect me and one can’t help but let the rage out. But again, how does that help me? It doesn’t. And it hurts those around me

What lies ahead?

Ok, so what’s coming for me? Well, first things first, more furcons. Revisiting the NFC in February, this time around as Roky and very much in the theme. After all, every circus needs a ringleader :3 Next will be Awoostria. I want to give a bit more space to smaller cons and NFC is already massive. Not to mention EF is an expensive venture and while I’d love to meet up with folks there, I don’t think I’ll be able to cover to handle the costs. But who knows, an opportunity might present itself and I’ll be able to get there. Also, Awoostria is really close by so visiting the place is easy. There’s also another neat bonus; I’ll be a “guide” for a friend at the con so that will be an interesting experience.

How about creative ventures? Well, I’m not giving up drawing, that’s for sure. Writing … Of course I’ll continue but I have to make sure my thoughts are collected and I’m not just ranty. Because I’ll have tons of things to rant about and doing just that will wear me down. Suit-making? Hmmm, third time’s a charm? My inner doggo would like some “walkies” and I want to try some new ways for some of the parts and Archie will be a nice “test subject”. I might even make second version of my woof with the alternative bright colours. And he might occasionally grow a pair of wings :3

But what about my personal, inter-personal and fluffy sides? Let’s make a list, shall we?

• Remember the 4 questions … At one point I learnt four questions against insecurities. They’re designed in a way that answering them reveals the insecure parts of oneself. I often manage to answer them with confidence that I’m not noticing any insecurities but towards the end of the year it changed and I managed to relinquish the control over myself to something I should never do. This means I need to pay closer attention and learn to stop myself and think before I act in a way that either compromises my own integrity or hurts someone dear to me. And I’m not in a position where I could allow myself to be all “come hell or high water”.
• Get along with some locals … This one will be challenging. You might’ve noticed that I’m more comfortable with folks outside my home place. It has lot to do with my lack of trust to my fellow folks of my home place. You see, I’m basically anything but what my country-folk are. This even affects my relationship to the fuzzy folks from here who I avoid when I’m abroad. I know I shouldn’t do that because local connections are the most important ones. But how to do it when all I know from here I can’t relate to in any way?
• Don’t be quiet but know when to rest … You’ve likely noticed that I’m rather loud about certain things. Especially things that are “good things done in bad faith”. And that’s not a bad thing. Staying completely quiet and taking hits doesn’t work. But I’m only human and I have my limits. And trying to outlast frontline soldiers doesn’t make me better than them. In fact, it makes me a liability. So remember, silly woof, take a time off when you feel like you can do nothing but quips. The moment you notice it, stop, do something else. Something productive. Or creative.

Alright, that’s probably all I can say. So … some closing thought? Last year I went with “Rebel away!” This time around, in the spirit of the previous points, I’m going to borrow a quote from an actress from my country. The actress has passed away years ago but the quote has been used as an epitaph. If I were to translate it, it’d go something like this:

Remember to smile. It is a light that tells everyone around that your heart is at home.

So, my dear readers, fellow fluffy, scaly, meaty folks … Remember to smile :3

R.R.A.

Well, I’ve bad news for you because I’m not going to talk about these ghouls. Or maybe I will but I’m afraid your image is very narrow because, believe it or not, every single one of us can fit this description. And I’m here to yet again put a mirror in front of many, to some extent everyone.

First things first, the word economy isn’t some new age concept or some cool buzzword that some demented influencer came up with. Economy has been with humanity since the dawn of civilisation and since the very first humans had some form of organisation besides “Me want this. They have what me want. Me kill them. Me take.” And even stupid thing covers the exact thing I want to talk about; Supply AND Demand.

This concept right here is the very foundation of economy. Someone can provide something and someone else wants something. An interaction between these two, be it individuals or groups, is then called a trade, service or whatever fits the description of the action. Put all these together and you have, surprise surprise, an ECONOMY. This applies to bartering, this applies in hard capitalism, this applies in communism, libertarianism, fascism, anarchism … this concept is completely apolitical.

And yet, we the people completely and utterly suck at it. We create over-abundance of something nobody wants. We demand things that are either impossible to create or in a timeframe that’s impossible to achieve. We arbitrarily play around with “value” of things and services to exert power. We hoard means of exchange, undermining and kneecaping the very concept in the process by greed.

But I’m not here to talk about money and/or wealth and how utterly face-fucked this system is. As mentioned in the title, I’m here to talk about a different asset. It’s an asset everyone has, everyone wants, everyone can provide and everyone (myself included) is colossaly bad at handling it or specifically, its mean of exchange; ATTENTION.

That’s right, my dear audience, we’re in an attention economy. This system has “exploded” with proliferation of social media networks. These basically gave everyone a global poster wall or megaphone to spread any message, be it the good kind or bad kind. With this, everyone has been given a new form of currency, attention. And it’s one weird kind of currency because it’s self-replicating and thus infinite. Kind of like fiat currency (sounds familiar?) except that one doesn’t really want to self-replicate (or more precisely, it’s not desirable by the controlling parties to do so). There’s also another weird aspect of it which is that you don’t really pay with it but instead use it as a marketing vessel or an investment. You provide attention to something and by that you invest in this weird form of stock. The dividend is then paid back in reach and sometimes a significant real world consequence and not just “internet points”. That’s the supply part of the equation. What is the demand part? Creation. And here I have to use the utterly slimy term “content creation” as a general term for written word, visual work (drawn art, videos etc.), audio work, brainrot, slop, memes etc. Anything that can spread around like wildfire. And you, the creator, are on the demand end, with attention being your price and/or value. Does this make sense? What if I told you that we’re also customers and marketing teams in this mess? How? By engaging in the consumption of the goods provided. Every like is a payment. Every view is payment. And every repost is both a payment AND a marketing act.

And it’s the last point which is both extrememly important (creates further supply of attention) and at the same time dangerous like standing next to an open nuclear reactor (creates further supply of attention). Because by spreading the “product” of choice, you increase its reach and thus its message. And it’s this spread in which we the people cut our own branches right from under us with utter recklessness. And those who want to intentionally profit from it know this very well and play on our very basic emotions such as fear, anger, sense of belonging etc. to make this act easier and further their goals while using you as an unpaid marketing intern.

But what does it have to do with supply and demand? Look just a little back up at what I said about reposts. By spreading the message, be it directly or by possibly the most insidious approach called “quote-dukning” (seriously, this shit is akin to killing your enemy by shooting yourself in the head in the process”), you’re increasing the supply of “outrage content” AND increase the demand for it not only by engaing with it but also by adding your own demand for personal attention into the mix. This results in a “positive feedback loop” and if you have any knowledge about electical signals or signals in general, you should know that positive feedback loops are really really bad in such systems because they’ll eventually bring the system down. Don’t believe me? Well … open your eyes and ears or whatever sensory organs you use to preceive the world around you.

So … what to do? Well, it’s an economy and believe it or not, YOU are in control of it. Or at least your part of it. You can in fact control the supply and demand in this mess of a system. How? By engagement of course. What you engage with IS what ends up in demand and gets its supply increased. Want to increase supply of, I don’t know, pictures of plants? Find artists who draw or paint these and give them reach. Or nature photographers who capture stunning moments of reality. Give them your attention. It may seem like a little but it only takes one moment, one single post to spread like uncontrolled wildfire.

Same thing goes for the opposite, decreasing the supply and demand. Obvious rage-bait? Skip over it. Drama that doesn’t even remotely affect you? DON’T jump in. I’m emphasising this one because it might seem tempting to jump in on a witchhunt but believe me, these more often cause harm to the cause and have a strong tendency to backfire (Steffo and Finn have a nice read on this here). Let the parties involved “handle” the situation. Not to mention unsolicited advice is a form of abuse, depending on the context.

There are of course, just like with everything, exceptions to the guidelines above, especially the latter one. This applies to things that require public attention even if they don’t immediately or even remotely affect you. Not to mention if you’re in the thankless position of a journalist or a moderator in which case you’ll likely be exposed to the nastiest stuff imaginable (please, take care of your mental health as much as possible so it doesn’t end up being your demise). In situations like this, it’s absolutely necessary to pay attention to the framing and make sure that you don’t accidentally spread the bad thing while trying to “debunk” it. A charming Kirby-themed post about this was circulating around BlueSky with a neat mnemonic “Eat their framing!”. This is why quote-posts are so tricky and why quote-dunking is more often than not harmful.

Alright, enough of ranting. What I created here isn’t exactly a set of guidelines but more a frustrating picture I keep seeing around the social spaces. Yes, world is a rage-inducing place to live in. But it should be in our best interest to make it a better one by demanding and spreading good things instead of being unpaid propagandists for the trashy ones. We have the tools and ironically it’s the tools of those who probably want us quiet. So, and this is especially for the people for whom the word “capitalism” is like waving a rag in front of a furious bull, time to be our own oligarchs and influence the world by our own passive wealth.

R.R.A.

“I want my neighbour’s goat to die.”

“Really? You don’t want one of your own to get a better life?”

“No, I don’t want better life. I just can’t stand them being happy.”

Above is an excerpt from a rather dark “joke” that I stumbled upon on one of my social dives. I personally wouldn’t call it a joke for not only the fun factor isn’t really there in the first place and these days it’s not even a joke by gallows humour standard anymore but more of a factual statement. It’s telling when people say satire is dead because it’s difficult to distinguish from reality. Same comes with humour when it becomes a coping mechanic instead of a “spice of life”.

But why do we continue on this path? Why do we willing remove parts of our humanity, let alone the positive ones and dive deeper into the swamp of misery? Why instead of looking for ways to brighten up the world we only looks for excuses to justify wrongs and punish those who even think about enjoying good moments that happen?

A little personal dive for starters. I didn’t use to be the “icy blue-eyed big woof brother”. In fact, I used to be very gloomy, cynical, self-deprecating and “smiling through pain” type of person. Sure, I could put on a mask of someone neat to stay around but that would eventually slip and reveal who I truly am. And in retrospect it eventually pushed people away.

Weirdly enough, it’s yet another thing where furs opened my eyes. Funny, how the people “hiding” behind their characters are actually more genuine. Sometimes in bad ways too but that’s the “occupational hazard” as my former teacher would’ve said. That said, seeing so many folks around just living and having fun despite some facing potentially life-threatening hardships. They have fun, they genuinely smile, they enjoy being in the moment.

And yet, whenever you get into the wider world, especially online, you see way more misery and hatred. And not just from the “expected” perpetrators but sometimes from the very communities that foster the positive nature of things and want to create a better world for everyone. So what is it? Is the positive look just a shell or is there an issue with people themselves. Then you start accounting for the “outsiders” and whoo boy does it escalate. The “joke” at the very beginning becomes very much a reality. Crowds of people who barely even know what they’re talking about swarm in and start tearing the community down harder than a flock of vultures picks a corpse clean. Why? See the “joke”. They can’t stand someone being happy.

But where does it come from? Were they denied their own happiness for their entire existence that they were “programmed” to hate everything that is even remotely good? But then this would for example deny the “kids rebel against their parents” principle. Taking this example, people like that would be expected to double down on the rebellious act but instead, they’d rather choose to “sink” into the proverbial swamp, be it to “deal with the issue” quickly or to “fit in” only to find out in the latter case that it’ll never work, fueling the misery even further.

But that’s on an individual level. What about groups? Entire societies? Hell, let’s just look at our world. The constant rush, the never-ending chase of something new/cool/whatever, blindly embracing trends just to make sure you don’t become ignored (sorry to break it to you, love, but you’re not doing it right, mainly because it’s not you). All this effort and no moment of stopping and just living has been creating a mindset, in which fun isn’t allowed. Because if you stop, then you’re suddenly “out”; out of “fight”, out of the “cool kids club”. Everyone seems to be in on the “grindset mindset”.

But guess what happens when you don’t allow yourself to be happy? That’s right, misery creeps in and starts growing. Suddenly, anything joyful starts turning into a distraction. Later, it becomes an obstacle; a nuissance. And once that miserable attitude settles in, all the nasty habits bubble out. Why? Because they’re an easy way to “handle” the situation; the “fan-favourite” non-solution.

Now, being a 90s kid, I went through that “edgy” and “nihilistic” era that I guess many of my peers went through. And guess what, even back then it was considered odd to be that way. So what changed? Well, Internet happened. Online social spaces became wide-spread and suddenly many people found their “tribes”. And for some reason, one of the core traits of netizens (good lord, I feel old using that word and I’m way younger than many on-line “pioneers”) has become the “Misery and hate is cool and who displays any form of fun is a brain-dead imbecile”. You’d think this stuff goes away quickly and you might be right if this was a thing recently. But this was a thing back then so it has had a lot of time to “mature”. And sadly it crept into many communities and into people’s mindsets. And Lord knows why people consider this a sign of “being a mature adult”? Really? Being a misery-craving happiness-hating sack of meat and bones is being and adult? No wonder so many look back at being kids.

Want an example? How about Gamers ™? One of the candidates for the most insufferable and immature communities. If you’ve ever been in any community focused around a video game, especially big and/or competitive ones, whoo boy, my condolences to your braincells. Like, the level of absence of any level of basic humanity is insane. The “people” (I really struggle with relating to humanity here) are so depraved of it that if you killed a baby in their presence they’d happily piss on their dead body. Sorry for a really harsh analogy but especially these days I’d be surprised if I was far from truth. Hell, just look at any online forum related to games. Or you know what, don’t. Save your sanity.

Want something more generalised so I’m not scapegoating a group? Not that it’s going to get that much better but there’s a reason I personally consider Reddit a cesspit. Because good lord almighty is that place more pretenetions and snobbish than the most stereotypical depicition of “royalty” in a sloppy TV show.

Speaking of furs, the fandom for some reason attracts so much hatred from outsiders. Why? Is it because it’s weird? How come other fandoms at the same level of establishment don’t suffer from the same? Sure, furs are a bit more explicit (sometimes to a point where it might be advisable to do a good level of personal risk assesment before sharing something because you don’t live in a vacuum and being inclusive doesn’t necessarily mean having no boundaries at all) but

A) vast majority of things you heard are pure bullshit

B) this slander ironically often comes from people who are even more “deviant” and not-so-rarely in ways that would have them end up with a knife to their throats.

In an overwhelming majority of cases, whenever you see a fur, it’s just someone having silly, sometimes cheeky, fun with who they are and who they want to be. Is that too much to ask for? Oh, right, fun not allowed. Only misery.

Ok, enough poking at “fun police”. Let’s look on a different side of this “battlefield”; those who actually fight for the betterment of humanity. Or at least they claim to do so. Because this area has been infected by the misery virus as well. Tell me, how many times have you encountered someone with whom you agreed in principle but their approach pushed you away? Maybe you got a step further and you were acquainted to someone or cooperated with someonelike this and eventually your paths diverged only for your “now former” colleague acuse you of the very thing you were “fighting” against. These instances are honestly even more infuriating to me personally because it kicks the usually good goal right in the face.

But why? Is it because your ideas were different? Is it because one of you decided to lower their efforts due to not being able to work at the 100% anymore, be it because of health or other circumstances? If so, how does that make one fight for better world when they do so using the very same methods that already forster one hell of a miserable atmosphere. To borrow a part of a quote from K. Marx (yes, that K. Marx): “From each one according to their abilities …” and under those abilites aren’t only the physical ones but also mental ones. Not everyone has the same level resilience or ability to commit and pushing them past their human limits only fuels the already inhuman world we live in. And guess what that would make you; the very same thing you’re trying to fix, except you have the right “excuse”. But let me give you a piece of advice: Not even frontline soldiers in active conflicts are fighting 24/7. They too get moments of respite during which they want to take time to live instead of fight. And these people are specially trained to have huge physical and mental resilience. So what makes you think you can one-up them?

“So, wise guy, what do you want to do with all this?” you’re probaby asking with a noticeable snark in your voice. Well, let’s take a peek into my self-mentoring and take few lessons

• Don’t feed the troll. Or someone with an overblown ego. Same goes for idiots. Instead, show a better way in a manner that clearly displays that things are good and the “bad side” is the one fear-mongering, not you. Furthermore, “Eat their frame”. This is from a post I stumbled upon during my BlueSky ventures and it’s really important piece of advice when “fighting bullshit”. In essence, if you want to get rid of bullshit, make sure you don’t help with spreading it with your correction.
• Don’t punish the expected behaviour. I’ve stumbled upon this one more recently and it fits so much. Treating those who don’t give their 100% all the time but are trying is hurting your cause massively. Remember, you don’t need to blow up an entire building to take it down. You just need to “damage” the right places and it falls apart on its own. Not to mention that not everyone has to be a demolition expert. Sometimes you just need someone to “open the door for you”.
• Focus your anger, shout when you need to, live and laugh whenever you can. Don’t allow yourself to fall into the trap of misery. Yes, the world will try to do it in many ways but genuine happiness is one of the best shields. And what’s even better that it’s also contagious.

And most importantly, NEVER throw away any portion of humanity (or whatever your species equivalent of it you follow :3) just because it makes your job easier. Or the cycle of cruelty will never be broken. I’m sure you’re aware that there are philosophies and ideologies that were created in good faith. At the same time, our history shows how easy it is to turn them into a tool of cruelty and oppression as well. Trust me, I know. Or more precisely, my predecessors do.

So, don’t just set things on fire. Build brigdes for those who need help to cross the river. Help those trapped in the swamp to get out instead of waiting for them to crawl out.

And as always, remember to smile. For a smile is beacon of light telling everyone that your heart is home. So make sure that beacon shines bright to make it easy for everyone to follow it.

R.R.A.

#InTheMazeOfThoughts

Friends that feel more like family. They have your back and they always make you feel at ease the minute you're around them.

I'll always value people like that.

It made me remember how I value people that got me through the hardest times, despite their own hardships. And how big has the rift between me and my bloodline become over the course of time. I know one of them will probably read this and put in the effort to understand it. And maybe the question will come up: “Why didn’t you say something?” Why? Because I never felt safe to do so. Because I haven’t felt I’d be trusted and understood and I sadly still don’t believe I ever will. Otherwise I wouldn’t need to write these lines.

Those who follow me for longer and/or have known me closer already know that the relationship with my family isn’t exactly all sunshine and rainbows. Like, the parents aren’t together anymore and haven’t been for at least a decade at the time of writing. Trips “home” haven’t felt like coming back for a long time to a point where I actively avoid them to save myself the anxiety and anguish of having to spend time with my father in the same place. Visiting my mum, while understanding, feels empty, void of the safety one would and should get. I think everyone in a similar place would seek a kindred soul. Someone who can create that place of home. After all, the saying “home is where your heart is” exists for a reason. I sometimes even called myself “homeless” for the reasons mentioned. Not because don’t have a roof over my head but because I don’t feel “home” anywhere. A little doodle from Furo captures the mood well. And with my blood family being the way they are, the word “orphan” comes up as well.

Back to the post that originated this train of thought and the title of my ramblings. How did all of this come up? Because there in fact is someone who has become my found family in that exact sense. I won’t say their name to protect their privacy (those who were with me for some time however probably know who I mean). The person I’m talking about very much fulfils the “made me human” part. How? Just like my SO made me realise I’m not made of stone as much as I spent my earlier years ramming this lie into my head, my found sibling opened my eyes to who I am. They taught me how to embrace who I am and stop hiding. They were there since the very first moment of my journey, seeing the rash, weird, anxious guy to grow into the still weird but in a different way, way more confident person I am now. They did in roughly five years more than my actual family tried in roughly two decades. They did by actually listening. They made me love my loopy self without shame and judgement. They celebrated my small achievements without pushing me further, trying to live off of it (I’m looking at you, dad).

You might be wondering now where are they. Well, life has been unkind to them. Like, seriously unkind. They’ve been going through things that nobody wants to experience in nightmares. They’re fighting demons that makes them disappear for days, weeks even. They’re staring into the abyss far too often. And it’s my job to be their found family so they can fulfil Raigho’s words. After what they’ve done for me, it’s only fair to be the same. After all, a wolf needs his pack and that pack should stick together.

But what about the extended family? You mean the blood one? The one I barely even know? The one that would probably erase me from existence if they knew who I truly am (props to my mum doing good job shielding me from them)? That one I already replaced ages ago. Yes, my found extended family is one weird bunch that sheds a lot but it’s my family. And who knows, maybe there are more who will become the close kind.

So yes, I value my found family greatly. Why? Because as mentioned before “home is where your heart is”. To which I say: “Family are people who embrace who you are and help you nurture that ‘you’. They’re the people with whom you can be yourself without restraint and yet will help you calm the ‘beast within’ when it becomes too strong to handle. They’re there to catch you when you fall. They’re there to lead you back when the ‘call of the abyss’ becomes too seductive. Who are they? You’ll find them without looking too hard for they will reveal themselves when the time is right.”

R.R.A.

#BehindClosedDoors

But where does it come from? How did we get into the state where things that were usually attributed to lunatics are now mainstream? The possibly and not completely outlandish answer is: “You're being mind-controlled.” Wait, what? Did I just say this? Did I seriously say the exact thought that I've been mildly mocking just seconds ago? Well, yes, I did. And you read Soatok's post on being under influence, you're probably starting to get an idea where I'm about to go with this. I'm not going to delve into the ins and outs of the field because our resident dhole has already done so. What I'd like to point at is how terrifyingly easy it has been to mind-control entire droves through a seemingly innocent technical feat and the general laziness of people. So, grab a snack, your favourite beverage of choice and let's dive in.

What's the first thing that comes to your mind when someone says “mind-control”? Maybe it's some sophisticated machine, implanted in one's body which discretely controls one's actions and decisions. The subject to such treatment is often completely unaware and impossible to convince. Or maybe it's something more esoteric, say a powerful wizard enchanting their unwilling servants, turning them into their thralls. Ok, maybe that's a bit too fantastical but there's something more realistic from the worlds of magic and alchemy. How about dangerous substances? Vapours, potions or various edible treats, weakening one's mind to a state that's suceptible to suggestion. Sounds familiar? Drugs, alcohol, that sort of thing? Things that are very familiar in our day to day lives. Or maybe something more crude, like literally beating the desired thoughts into you through physical and/or mental abuse. Everyone has a breaking point and eventually submits to the abuser just to make the pain end. What follows, depends on one's luck. In the better case (yes, that is the better fate), they'll be removed as an example. Otherwise, one will be left to rot in a miserable state of existence, only to possibly end it by themselves.

Scary, how easy it is to break one's will and them to other's bidding, don't you think? Read the question again; “break one's will”. This is the key to controlling someone. One needs to be brought to a point, where it's more convenient to act against their own interests and motivations. Think about it. Why would someone do such thing willingly? There needs to be an underlying factor to make one act against themselves. Some do so out of fear. What kind of fear? Anything. Fear of abandonment, fear of losing their life; anything that threatens one's security. Other times, it's convenience and comfort. Wait, what? How can it be convenient to act against oneself out of comfort? Oh my dear reader, way easier than you think. And you have very likely fallen victim to such convenience trap multiple times without even acknowledging you did so and now you probably want to fight me tooth and nail about this. But think about it. How many “conveniences” you have in your life that actively hurt you (most likely indirectly) or someone else but you don't care because it's convenient?

You can probably already guess what I'm alluding to. That I'm kind of tip-toeing around a certain technology that has made mind-control so terrifyingly easy and seemingly innocent until it's far too late. That's right, the ever-present algorithms. Specifically “recommendation” algorithms. Admit it, how many times did you get something because it was recommended to you without even stopping and asking yourself whether it's a right choice? How many times did you fall into the hole of watching whatever YouTube has thrown at you because it was just close to your interests, leading your hand further and further down the path designed for you? See what I did here? It was designed for you. Designed by whom? Yourself? Someone else? Nobody? The last is definitely not true since someone had to implement the code. But who is that someone? You? Really? Did you really sit down and coded the program which tracks your habits and tailored it to what YOU like and what YOU want? I don't think so because such thing isn't exactly a job for one person over the course of one afternoon. Things like this require tons and tons of research data and many people far smarter than my measly self, both in academic and sadly the insidious sense, to create such a beast of a “machine”. And yet, the concept is strangely simple. You consume whatever you like, the machine takes the statistics, evaluates them and based on the output, it provides more based on the resulting correlation. And it's the evaluation where the devil sits. Because who evaluates the data? You? Oh sweet summer child, you do no such thing. In fact, you have off-loaded this extremely critical step to someone else. You, who holds all the delicious data (yes, your preferences is “the” data) and should be the one to use them, have willingly given up part of your personality to someone. Congratulations, you've just been mindcontrolled! Collars are right there, feel free to pick whichever you fancy. Oh, and don't forget the leash so you can be easily pulled around (yes, I know some of you are probably into that but believe me, this is not the pleasant kind of pull).

So what to do about it? Well, you have learn to do things “the hard way” again. And by hard way I mean actually utilising the connections manually. This of course means rebuilding the social fabric yet again. I'm not even remotely going to suggest it's an easy task. I know from experience it's not, being a rather reclusive lone wolf. But believe me when I tell you it's very liberating, reclaiming your personal tastes without subjecting them to a heartless machine, probably controlled by some deranged sociopath who'd happily turn you into an equivalent of soylent green at the first moment.

“But ... how do I know what I like?” That's the thing. You have to figure it out yourself. Remember, be curious. Try things on your own. Leave the machine behind and build your own corner of the world. Delegating personal tastes to someone else is a terrifyingly easy way to control you and destroy your life and sense of self. That's the goal of algorithms. They remove what makes you “you”, turning you into a product. A thing to sell. A thing to market. A number in statistics. A slave to the system (sorry, couldn't resist). Not an ounce of humanity will be left. Only a product of social pressure and grey, monochrome, boring imitation of life. That's how easy it is to control one's mind and drain them of individuality until there's nothing left. Not through “brute force” but through apathy and convenience where you give everything you are willingly.

Don't want to do it? Take a first step and limit your exposure to algorithms. Maybe introduce a little bit of inconvenience into your life. My most recent venture? I got rid of my almost decade old Spotify. Why? Because

1. It doesn't really recommend me anything useful

2. They're absolute arsehats towards creators. (Highest payouts? Yeah, eat shit. There are plenty of stats that prove the exact opposite)

3. Why does a music company need to invest into defence? Like, if one does it as their individual thing, it's still morally questionable at best although given present day's fucked up political climate one can see why. Doesn't of course mean it should endorsed in any way, shape or form.

What about YouTube which has become ubiquitous? Nobody forces you to use the official client. I've been on alternatives for quite a while already and it's a far better experience than being constantly exposed to the virtual Goebbels megaphone. Sure, “recommendations” still pop from time to time and it makes me want to exsanguinate whoever “tailored” the algorithm but the exposure is much lower and thus easier to break out of. Social networks? Mastodon has no algorithm at all and BlueSky keeps feeds chronological unless explicitly stated otherwise so me delving into the “depths of the abyss” is merely my choice and mine alone. How bad? Depends.

In the end, algorithms don't exist to make your experience better. Instead, they're tailored to strip you of your individuality, moulding you into whatever is demanded. They attack your need “to belong” by removing anything interesting that could give you such status in the first place. Sounds weird? Let me leave you with a question for thought at the end:

If everyone is the same, how can you check whether you belong? How do you find out, when there's nothing to compare to?

R.R.A.

First things first, I’m not going to remind anyone what has happened for one, it’s a thing of the past and best to move on and for two, I refuse to give attention to idiots. What however keeps my gears going, and it’s not this specific instance, is the amount of anger that always rises from every single corner. Of course I’m familiar with the concept of “righteous anger”; one that gives you the feeling of justice being served. I’m also supportive of the idea of letting one’s anger out. Believe me, you don’t want to hold that shit inside you and let it “brew” because it’ll either corrode you from within or become something even worse. With all that said however, one must be mindful of how these are used and handled. How come, you might ask? Because “anger” is raw, primal and it’s easy to be consumed by it. And when that happens, one’s view narrows, focuses at the goal.

But what is the goal? To make room for a better world? To get the feeling of justice? To punish those responsible for ills of the past and likely present? Maybe it’s just one of these. Or maybe all of them. Or maybe something else. There’s however that one common denominator; all is being fueled by anger, righteous or otherwise. And as I said just shortly before, anger is primal. It shadows one’s rational judgement, reverting one’s mind into a simple “Fight, Flight, Freeze or Fawn” state. In these cases more often than anything it’ll be the “Fight”. And here comes the dangerous part because remember that one is in the “primal state”. In this state, one just wants to tear things apart. Or maybe even pour salt into the wound. But is that a good thing? Does an act of evil done in revenge validate it? Well, if you probably know why I referenced Geralt at the start. Because if you asked him he’d say

Evil is evil. Lesser, greater, middling, it makes no difference. The degree is arbitrary, the definition’s blurred. If I’m to choose between one evil and another, I’d rather not choose at all.

I’ll get into a dissection of the quote some other time since it’s not in the scope of this post but it’s idea applies to what I’m thinking about here. It’s not unusual for many people within social spaces, luckily more often online than in meatspace but the latter is being more and more present at a worrying rate (take a guess from whom), to fight for their cause at any cost. And I mean any cost to a point of disregarding people “on the sidelines” who could potentially be aligned with one’s cause but they’re discouraged by one’s actions making them question whether their way is the correct one.

“But Rawi, the others are doing exactly that! They’re stoking the fires of rage and using them to further their cause! Are we supposed to bend over?” No, my dear reader, you’re not to do any such thing. For your task isn’t to strike at those who already are firmly against you. They’re a lost cause and any and all energy spent fighting them directly outside of necessary cases is wasted. Your task is to beat them indirectly. You should be showing those who aren’t lost yet that your way is the better one. It may not be perfect, because no way is, but your way should be showing a cause worth pursuing. The difficult part is “selling it”. Why? Because it’s easy to promote fear than hope. Fear is, just like anger, a primal emotion. It’s easy to manipulate someone through primal emotions and those who use it for their selfish reasons know this very well. They know how to create an image of you that stokes the fires of fear.

“Wait, how does that relate to what I’m doing?” you’re probably asking. Well, look at your actions regarding whatever just happened that could potentially put yet another target on your back. Do they contradict the lies that are being spread? Or are they contributing to that image that’s being constructed to other you? Are your actions and thoughts one of confidence in your ideals? Or are they fueled by the judgement of others not agreeing with you fully, rendering you no better than the ones ostracising you? I get the idea of “embracing the cringe” but this doesn’t work on everything. Especially considering that “cringe” is the keyword. What I’m referring to isn’t exactly cringy. It’s something rather serious and requires a different kind of action.

“Wait, you’re both-siding me!” No, I’m not both siding you. Because for doing so I’d need the other side. But there’s no other side. There’s yet another person with a “infallible” worldview that’s going to save everyone. “But …” Shush, no buts and/or ifs. What you’re offering is just another “I’m right because XYZ” except you don’t have the leverage to create the critical mass of mindshare for you refuse to “stoop down” to the “bad one’s” level. Hence why your cause, even when noble, falls flat with those you should be convincing in the first place.

Did I make you stop and think? If I did so, then good. Because you might just be getting out of the self-destructive state of trying to create a better world through anger. Why is it self-destructive? Well, just look at your adversaries who are doing so and what it brings them. Is that a better world? Do you want the same just with a different “excuse”? Probably not.

Now, before I leave you with the puzzle in your head, let me give you a tool for handling certain situations when it comes to nasty people. Sure, giving them hell might feel satisfying but it in fact isn’t. And these days it even kicks you right back in the face due to the “attention economy”. However, if you really have an enemy you want to just have their face eaten, let me offer a suggestion:

May you lose that which you value the most. And may you be reminded of your loss every minute for the rest of your life with absolutely no way to change that.

How does this work? Well, I doubt you want your enemy to “go away easily”. And everyone, even the really deranged individuals, value something, whatever that may be.

R.R.A.

Commencing start-up sequence ... Life support ... Nominal Power Plant ... Nominal Engines ... Powered up and ready Frame Shift FTL Drive ... Ready Sensors ... Online

Testing Thrusters ... Horizontal RCS ... Nominal Vertical RCS ... Nominal Lateral RCS ... Nominal Main Thrusters ... Nominal. Maximum speed rated at 550 kph

“Alright, Frostfire, it's been a while but you're still going strong. Command, this is Commander Rawen, ship identification Krait II, callsign Frostfire, ship ID RA-28K; requesting permission to depart.”

“Copy RA-28K, permission granted. Observe safe speed limit of 100 kph inside and within close vicinity of the docking port. Safe travels, commander.”

With a soft purr of the main thrusters, Frostfire lifts off of the platform, quickly reaching the maximum allowed speed. Rawen gently leads his “beast” out of the port and into an open space. “Alright, bud, give me the roar!” says Rawen as he hits the “Boost”. And the beast obeys, filling the wolf commander's ears with the simulated sound of the engines. “Oh yes, I missed this. Ok, time to plot the course.” Rawen opens the map and sets destination to the GER system, planet HMBG, station CCH.

“Frame shift drive, charging ...”

The sound of the FTL drive slowly spinning up fills Rawen with anticipation.

“Ready to engage. Accelerate to maximum speed and proceed outside of the range of any gravity well.”

Rawen hits the boost once more to get Frostfire out of the masslock. The moment the ship reports no masslock, FTL drive kicks in:

4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... ENGAGE!

That's right. Woof has been on an adventure again. This time a bit closer to my home as I could travel by land (despite my Elite-themed intro). Visiting the one and only Eurofurence in the German metropolis of Hamburg. How was it? Well, let's embark on the journey beyond the frontiers of known universe.

Day 0 ... Set the course to Hamburg. And let's hope nothing breaks.

First task of every con is to get to the place. I chose the train this time around since the connection from my place was pretty good and train travel is quite comfortable. That said, it was with German Railways (DB) about which I've heard some “horror stories”; cancelled trains, inconsistent delays etc. But not afraid and committed, I've set out on the early Tuesday morning.

First part, reach my capital city. Ironically, it was this part of the trip which has almost made the things complicated. The train was arriving from Slovakia and was already running late by like 10 minutes, leaving very little time for the transfer. I proactively asked whether the connecting train would be waiting and was assured that we should be able to catch up. And indeed we did. The train arrived with a comfortable 5 minute window and the transfer was just an simple platform change. Once on board the train to Germany, things settled down. First part done.

The second part of the trip was leading me to Berlin, the “split city”. Small historical window, though you probably know what I'm referencing, Berlin was split into two during Cold War based on the occupation zones. It was also temporarily “stripped” of the capital city status since it was in the middle of Eastern Germany. Western Germany had its Cold War capital in Bonn. Anyway, my stay in Berlin was short and only limited to the main station which is ... absolutely huge. Like, imagine a massive shopping centre and you build a train station right below it. Another bonus was the train actually arriving early so I had more than plenty of time to get a bit of a rest and grab a quick bite to eat.

“Last mile”, the trip with the (in)famous DB ICE to Hamburg. The trip went completely smooth and to be honest, it felt a little bit like being in a plane. Except having more comfortable cargo options and being way quieter. Also, are all the ICE announcers this bubbly or was I just lucky? Anyway, a small mishap due to inexperience, I could've gone for a different station which would've dropped me off right next to the con place and closer to the hotel. On the bright side, I could get in a small walk and some sights in the city.

After checking in at the hotel (and paying quite a hefty price — Hamburg is really expensive even by local standards) I released my fluffy parts from their travel “prison” and went for short walk around around the hotel and bit into the city to get a bit more familiar with the place. Gotta say, Hamburg looks quite neat but still makes me feel like I've been dropped in the middle of a highway. Malmö felt a little more homey but that's just my bias speaking since I feel cosier in smaller cities.

View of the Hamburg Lombardsbrücke

Evening view of the canal near the Hamburg City Hall

The Hamburg City Hall building

After grabbing some quick dinner, I ventured towards the park and the CCH which is right next it. And believe me, I needed only to follow my ears and I'd easily find the place. Quite a bit of folks already around the CCH with a suiter here and there. And believe it or not, I “caught” my first dragon. And not just any dragon. Lately I started watching Brixxy Brightmane, a fluffy dragon at heart, a really cosy streamer. Honestly, he really makes the streams feel like a cosy corner. We talked a little bit during his streams and he was open to a meet and greet. And guess what, we did so on the very first day right before the con! He didn't know it was me at first since I hadn't got my badges on but he immediately connected the dots once I shared the picture I took. And of course, the dragon got some gentle ear scritchies and a fluffy hug.

The cosy fluffy coffee dragon, Brixxy Brightmane

After a bit of “loitering” around, I headed back to the hotel since I was worn out from the trip. But everything pointed to some great times ahead. Plan for day 1? First, the officialities (rego, official suite badge etc.). Next, let the woof loose :3

Day 1 ... Lift-off

Alright, the travelling part is finished, time to start the adventure. This of course means tackling the first “dreaded” challenge of the con: the registration queue. And you know what, let's do it with style: suited up. That's right, let's dive into the fuzzy charcater right from the get go. So yeah, in my fluffy form, armed with my new messenger bag from Keeya full of stickers, small camera so I can take pictures without having to remove my paws (note to self, figure out some touchscreen-friendly paws?), I set out for the short walk towards the venue, wondering how long the queue may be. You could definitely feel that furs were starting to “conquer” the place as the number of people with various fuzzy parts and furry merch were starting to gather around with the venue getting closer.

About halfway, I've spotted a small group of people with one of them wearing a familiar looking tail; cat-like, black with a very recognisable, bright rainbow mane. “Wait, this one looks a little familiar, could it be?” I wondered but wasn't really sure. Well, life took the reins for me there because the moment we got closer and crossed the large road before the park next to the venue, my guess was confirmed. I was indeed blessed by the trio of Kianga, Keeya and Rengyr. Gotta say, the con started really great. First, an encounter with a cosy dragon and now a meetup with some lovely FediFolks :3 We walked together to the venue where we split up for the registration queues (I got the regular one while others got the priority one). The queue seemed long but according to Kianga's words, the last year's one was way worse, starting even before the nearby park. This time around the queue was roughly in front of the Dammtor train station, which is right next to the venue.

Queuing for the registration. The queue was already at the Dammtor station in the morning.

The wait wasn't bad either. Once the door opened around 9 AM, the queue started moving at quite a steady pace. The wait was also made bit more pleasant with a small group of fuzzy colleagues from Poland who also had someone playing a bit of music which definitely raised the mood. Even managed to trade the first sticker and got to meet another FedFloof, Kooda. During the registration, a funny mistake happened because I was almost issued a wrong badge. Luckily, the error was quickly spotted and I was indeed given the right one. Equipped with the official badge, I headed into the backrooms to take a bit of a breather from being suited up and also pick up the second, suiter badge. That one was handled quickly since the queue in the fursuit lounge was minimal. Fully equipped, I went to roam the place and engage in “suiter catching” and hopefully entertaining some folks during the wait. Sunny weather with a very slight breeze made the experience manageable while providing great lighting for pictures. Lunchtime was slowly approaching which means I had to head back into the hotel to “become human meatbag” again. On my way back I managed to yet again catch up with the trio from the morning, this time me being caught by them.

A quick rest, much needed shower after suiting (trust me folks, you absolutely want to get one the moment you take the suit off) and I slowly took a walk back, this time without the suit, because there were places to get food and drinks and I could also keep taking pictures. So I grabbed some bite to eat once I arrived and went to handle one more “official” thing; grab the con t-shirt which I ordered with the ticket. I didn't want to take it immediately after the registration to avoid the queue and it was a good choice since in the early afternoon the queue was already short. Once I had this one handled, I headed back outside and spotted a familiar floof with a familiar looking protogen. I began approaching the sneakily since they weren't looking and managed to “sneak in” on the floof; none other than Loimu and Dr4gonMouse; the fuzzy couple from NFC. A fuzzy hug and brief friendly talk followed with a happy reunion. Speaking of reunions, another one happened. One I kind of knew was possible but wouldn't expect to actually happen.

Dr4gonMouse and Loimu

Now, I believe most of my readers know me from through Mastodon and maybe few folks from BlueSky (mostly folks who already knew me from before), but my proper origins in the fandom stem from a Discord server which I got into during the COVID lockdowns to “save my sanity” (or fuel my insanity; whichever you prefer). I have left the place quite some time ago due to tense atmosphere there and I did so very abruptly and basically disappeared from many people's lives. Only few (my SO included) from the place stayed around. But as time went, something in me started gnawing on my conscience: “Rawen, what you did was right but you have to admit some innocent folks got caught in the crossfire. Maybe they at least deserve to know what happened.” This thought was lingering in my head for a long time but I never acted upon it. Until now.

As I was heading back to the hotel to take a bit of a breather and maybe suit up for the second round. I spotted a familiar-looking eastern dragon in the queue. “Wait ... is that ... is that Ryu? That'd mean that their companion is Fio.” And believe me, she looked very familiar despite me seeing her picture only once. I hesitated for a bit decided to act. I walked toward the dragon and asked:

“Excuse me, but I have to ask. Are you Ryu, Kovat's partner (we'll get to him later)?”

“Yes, yes I am!”

At that moment, I was 100% sure.

“In that case I have to ask you companion as well, are you Fio?”

“Yeah”

I immediately grabbed my badge and showed it to them: “Does this black wolf look familiar?”

“Oh my gosh, Rawen! It's you!”

Both Fio and Ryu were ecstatic to meet me in-person. Fio knew me from the very early days of the aforementioned server and Ryu heard about from Kovat who knew me as well. They were all waiting together but Kovat wasn't around at the moment since he was grabbing some stuff he apparently forgot (sorry, Kovat, I just had to :P). We caught up a little bit but since the queue was moving steadily we split up so we wouldn't create a traffic jam. But yes, this was one happy reunion which only got better the next day.

Once I got back to the hotel for a short R&R, I suited up again to roam the venue some more. The number of people was steadily growing but the place is massive compared to venues for NFC so it didn't feel crowded. I was just casually being in my element; a fluffy woof, happily trotting around the place, taking an occasional picture or being playful when an opportunity presented itself. However, the weariness from the yesterday's travel still lingered and I started feeling it so I took went back to the hotel to take the suit off and came back to spend the rest of the day out of the suit while waiting for the opening ceremony. During my stay there I happened to encounter one hell of an adorable couple, Tosh with his partner Volpeloz, this time around as her beagle character Lorrie. And honestly, I'll let the picture speak for itself. Tosh being the adorable ball of corgi energy and Lorrie ... a total cuteness overload.

Tosh Corgi with Volpeloz as Lorrie the Beagle

The ceremony was however delayed so I kept roaming around, only to stumble upon Ryu, resting outside and waiting for the rest of their company who were picking up a friend, Quenn from the airport (they were arriving from the US). By the time we met, Quenn apparently just landed and Ryu was waiting for the gang to come back. I've stayed around for bit while we were “cursing” the “German precision” when it comes to public transportation but we eventually parted ways. The ceremony got delayed further so I slowly returned back to the hotel because the weariness started weighing in. The ceremony was being streamed as well so I could watch it that way. Well, at least part of it since the stream had quite a bit of technical issue for the good first half. Eventually it got fixed and yeah, the show was pretty neat and Greeny is an adorable EF mascot.

This concludes the first day of EF adventures. What comes next? Well, let's find out.

Day 2 ... Meeting royalty, doing irresponsible monetary choices and FediFloofs

Day 2, waking up a bit more rested, I took a small morning walk around the city again to get the bones moving. I didn't want to head back into the con space immediately so I could preserve some energy since there were things to attend this time around. But hey, you know me, I can't say no to suiting and I like roaming the place in the early times when venue is a little quieter. So out I go in full fluff yet again to walk around, share hug and be a woof who likes pets. Because this woof is a friendly woof :3

The morning went by quick because time flies when it's a good one and also an event which many like and dread at the same time was about to happen, the Dealer's Den. Before that however, I spotted a familiar orange floof but this time it wasn't “just” Loimu. It was King Loimu, in his royal foxy fluffiness :3 Of course, proper respects were in order.

His Foxy Majesty, King Loimu

After a short talk we parted ways since I wanted to take break and grab some lunch before committing to some “irresponsible spending”. On my way back, I heard a familiar voice, Ryu, right in front of the train station. And this time around accompanied by the full gang of Fio, Quenn and Kovat. And believe me, those of you who had the chance to talk to Kovat, he's just as energetic in real life as online. He's a fluffy bouncy goblin :3 We talked a bit, exchanged all the stickers around, I reintroduced myself to Quenn who hasn't seen me in basically million years (we all shared the same server back in the days). I've also showed my fluffy dragon SO (with their permission of course) since we all know each other. It was a lovely meetup.

Back at the hotel, de-suit, de-stink (the most important step right after), a bit of rest to recover some energy and to also let the time pass to avoid the insane queue and out we go to commit a “monetary massacre”. And whoo boy, can I just say my wallet was screaming. But worth it, as you can see :3

Dealer’s Den Haul

More shirts, plushies, an adorable mug, arts (one that's not shown is a trad commission which will be shipped later since the artist, Mlice, would've been super busy during the con. Good news for them though, the comms sold out :3) and something practical in a form a cooling vest and collar. A slightly amusing story, when I was getting the vest, EzWolf looked at me and was like “I think Small will fit you just right.” and yes, he was correct. Why is it funny for me? Because on one hand, I'm usually medium/large when it comes to clothes so hearing small made me ask myself “am I really that small?” but at the same time, EzWolf is from Netherlands which as you may know are the tallest people in Europe so their reference for sizing is slightly different.

Once I got back from the shopping spree, it was time to get ready for the evening event, the Fediverse meetup. Prime opportunity to quickly test the new cooling gear. And holy hell is it a blessing. I was a little worried that the vest is going to feel as if you had an ice cube tossed under your shirt but that's not what it feels like. Instead, it's super cosy, kind of like getting a light hug except this one is cooling you down. The cooling collar though is what saves the day for me the most. I wasn't able to “charge” it much since I haven't got a fridge at hand but even just the cold water can make it work. I managed to do the walk to the venue without feeling like I stuck my head into a bucket of water which is already a huge boon. So yes, can fully recommend getting the cooling gear for suiting even if you're just wearing a partial.

Off to the Fedi meetup we go. And was it a little funny for me to get there because I simply had a navigation sense of a drunken pigeon that day. But I eventually found the spot and got into the cosy meeting with the fluffs I only knew in the virtual sense. Folks like Azzuen with his big woof plushie that's actually a puppet. Super adorable woof with some sharp teefies made by a really cosy guy. I of course arrived with my plushie woof as well so we gathered them up among other fellow floofs I could also name Neop, Kianga (host of the event this time around suited up), Keeya, Tuxel with an army of protobeans which were promptly turned into sushi-beans (monch :3), Livi, BlackWolf, ... so many folks and everyone felt at least tiny bit familiar even if we never interacted directly before. So yeah, if someone tells you Mastodon or Fediverse is obscure, they have no idea what they're talking about. We talked a bit, took some pictures with suiters (we were mostly hogging the fans), exchanged stickers (Roky seems to be stealing hearts of folks since he was gone moments after I laid the batch on the sticker table, followed by Archie “the tech wizard).

After the meetup, I roamed the evening venue a little bit more and later headed back to the hotel to close the day. Overall, a day well spent :3

Day 3 ... A rain on the parade?

Waking up, I heard a very familiar sound. A sound that folks can find cosy but also one you don't really want to hear with regard to suiting. After rolling out of the bed and peeking outside, my worry was confirmed; it's raining. And it's on the day the fursuit parade is to happen. Will the rain go away? Let's hope so.

But first things first, a hefty breakfast is in order since there's going to be quite a bit of walking involved and there won't be chance to take a breather during the parade. I kept watching the clouds outside and things looked hopeful. Despite that, I wasn't taking the walk to CCH suited up this time around, wearing just the tail and sleeves and bringing the rest of the parts with me. Seriously, my suiting up experience is starting to feel like a Black Ops soldier preparing for a mission with all the things I have now. The walk to the venue however showed a lot of promise since sun was already peeking out and it was getting nicely warm.

Into the lounge, suit up, stash the backpack into a nice hidey spot so doesn't cosplay as a landmine for a tired suiter and let's roam the place a little before the main event. The weather became just right and as the time went on the crowd in front of the venue was steadily growing. As the time approached the start of the parade, I snuck into the crowd next a familiar duo of Loimu and Dr4gonMouse with two more fuzzy friends around. After a little while, a familiar four-legged puppet woof appeared but this time accompanied by his two-legged bigger “brother”. That's right, Azzu appeared in the suit and holy moly is he one gorgeous woof. We later moved into a different spot trying to find some shade since the sun started getting a little toasty but the parade set off in just a few minutes. Joining the flow with Azzu and co. started the walk into the nearby park. And I'm super thankful for having an ad hoc handler for the first half because even though I can manage fine on my own, a helpful hand is always super appreciated <3

We stuck together for roughly the first shortcut where I split up with Azzu, keeping the pace with the rest of the crowd. I briefly switched my “navigator” to CoVahr who happened to be close by so I kept pace with the fox-derg. A loop around the small lake and the crowd started getting a little dense since we encountered a little choke point on the path where there was comfortable room for maybe one suiter ... unless you wanted to take a bath in one of the many ponds of the park. I somehow managed to sneak my way through the crowd a little only to encounter another bunch of familiar faces, Rioku and Protox. And where there are these two, there's very likely the white dragon Brixxy, this time around accompanied by another floof, Kiro, the Shorca (Shark/Orca hybrid). The path opened into a small grassy rest where the folks split up a bit and Brixxy and Kiro posed for a picture. Having my camera at hand, I took the chance and we rejoined the crowd, continuing the trip.

Brixxy and Kiro in the Planten und Blomen park during the parade.

The rest of the walk went smoothly and steadily, people both from and outside the con lining the walk, waving, getting high-fives and recording the “river of floof” (hello, Gallen :3). The walk finished at the same spot and whoo boy was I starting to feel it. At this moment, having a spacious lounge was a nice boon (despite its rather limited capacity for stuff), compared to NFC which was a little cramped and the parade there really stretched its limits thin. Taking off the suit felt ... refreshing. Because as much as I love wearing my fluffy self, I'm still a meatbag on the inside that needs some time to cool off. Speaking of which, thank you EZCool collar for keeping me alive even though your “insides” have literally been liquefied. After the break, I roamed the place a bit more but the weariness started setting in quickly so after a while I went back to the lounge, grabbed my stashed backpack and headed back to the hotel, catching a picture along the way for some folks outside the venue (apologies if I looked worn out a little).

Back at the hotel, a maintenance ordeal happened because whoo boy did the suit need it. Seriously, I don't think I need to visit a sauna anytime soon since I tend to bring my own X3 After the laborious task of cleaning and de-stinking the suit as much as I could with my limited tools, I headed back to the venue to maybe grab something to eat and I had a plan to attend one of the panels there. After a quick lunch, I had some time to spare so I took a short visit into the dealer's den again just in case something catches my eye. And guess what, my shirt hoarder in me couldn't resist getting one more for the collection. After I got out, my body really started telling me “take a rest, bud” which had me conflicted since there was an event that caught my interest. But I wasn't risking falling asleep during that so I got back to my room for more recovery. Well, somewhat of a recovery since I did some more suit maintenance in the meantime so it can be ready for the evening because hey, I may not be much into dancing but I'd be against my better judgement not to move my paws at least for a short while one night. The dance may have been brief since my stamina is basically non-existent and the parade has drained a lot of energy, but still, worth it to just let loose to the music. You just need to keep in mind the aftermath, aka “peeling” the suit from your body since you'll be absolutely drenched, no matter the amount of cooling gear. That said, the vest and the collar are absolute lifesavers.

After taking a break (and removing the completely soaked balaclava from my face), I packed up the suit parts, leaving only the sleeves and tail on and started heading out, only to stumble upon Kovat's group again, camped in the hall. I was in no rush so I joined them for a short talk. After a few minutes, another familiar face joined, Kryptid who I've met at NFC for the first time. We got around and I got some neat tips for suit building since Kryptid had to rework his suit head. Gotta say, magnetic detachable ears sound like a really good idea for travelling, considering Roky (my fox) is going to have much larger ears which could be tougher to fold into the case (Rawen fits in the small suitcase just enough with a tiny bit of folding a gentle squish on the cheeks). The night was progressing and we were all slightly worn out, we headed out and separated before the hotel.

Day 4 ... Time to make memories

The final day of the con. I wanted to squeeze in one more round of suiting, before all the closing events since I was heading home the next day and I wanted to give the suit enough time to dry. Stepping outside to the venue, I already felt a little bit toasty. This however didn't stop me from roaming around for a little while. And guess who appeared; Kovat and co. ... unaware of my presence. Time to be a sneaky woof >:3 I started carefully creeping closer but at the last second I was spotted by Fio. Kovat suggested that we could group up for the large con picture. Sounds like a good idea so let's meet up in front of the hotel since the place was usually their place of stay. I took a few more round around the place before heading off to the Wolf Meet. Gotta mingle with the extended pack for a while :3 And believe me, we might look all fierce and noble but let's face it, we're just dogs cosplaying as “royalty”. Bit of playing (yes, wolves also like to play fetch), bit of dancing and lots of howling was involved (Awooo!!!).

Teeny tiny woof woof

The idol has been given all the gifts.

After the meet, I took a breather in the lounge before the group photo and recharged my cooling collar since it was definitely getting hot outside and I didn't want to turn into a steak. Refreshed, at least as much as possible, I slowly headed out to find Kovat and co. on the agreed spot. And indeed I did, Kovat and Ryu catching all the sun they could (the joys of being from the UK). While me, Fio and Quenn were slowly roasting. As the photoshoot was getting near, we joined up with Kryptid and found ourselves a spot in the future picture. Organising the huge number of suiters (officially over two thousand) proved challenging as expected but on the plus side, we got instructions (take notes, NFC). Everything went smoothly and it was quite need to have a picture together with folks who were there during my inception into the fandom. It really felt like after me taking off on my own way we reunited to share what we've all been up to. Seems like this bridge might be worth slowly mending :3

After the photoshoot, we split up and I headed back to take a break since yet again, not only I needed to free my face from all the sweat but also recharge the cooling collar again. Sure, I was always giving like maybe 5 minutes but believe me, any amount of cooling you can sneak in works wonders. Alright, few more walks before heading home. And look, Kianga, Keeya and Rengyr appear. Keeya came to with an offer to have printed picture of me and Kianga and started looking for one which they took earlier. However, they weren't able to find it. After a while, we decided to make a quick new one. So I now have this little heartwarming memory <3

One happy memory from EF2025; me and Kianga

During the printing, Kianga decided to turn into a “floppy jaguar” and hey, why not join? So I did, gently resting my head on his thighs. Result? A small pile of black fur, mixed in with some silvery grey and rainbow colours. After bit, we gathered up and parted ways. But of course, a proper hug for all in case we won't see each other during the day. I took a one more round outside and look, I found a friend! He may have grown up a bit too much but still, it my boy, Gabumon!

An unusually sized Gabumon

The day was however inevitably advancing and woof was getting weary. Back to the lounge, de-suit although I still kept the collar on to use up every tiny bit of the cooling and started heading home. Outside, I stumbled upon Loimu and Dr4gonMouse for one last time for short talk and of course a hug before the way home.

Back at the hotel, the difficult part began. Getting the suit parts into some decent shape to let them dry and very slowly but inevitably start packing up. I mostly gathered up the things and sorted them into small piles which will then be packed in and headed back to the venue for some last minute pictures and one more trip to the dealer's den for just one more piece which caught my eye. I was considering staying around for the closing ceremony and the pawpet show but weariness started getting more intense so I headed back to my room and had the events on stream (this time around it was going smoothly), keeping me entertained during the packing process. Some of the suit parts were already decently dry so I could pack them in easily. Only the hands were being pesky around the edges and of course the under armour which is of course directly on my body. I stayed up for a bit longer, sifting through the pictures from the con a little bit and chatting a while with Gallen who offered up a bit more suiting. I was tempted but my suit was already ready for packing.

As the time went by, a tiny bit of PCD was starting to creep in. Because I had wonderful time. Be it meeting the FediFolks and FediFloofs, reuniting with people from my early days or just being around all the fluffy critters, embracing my fluffy self. But all good things come to an end. Cry not because they're ending. Instead, smile because you could experience them. The memories you gathered, will stay with you and carry you in your time of need. And remember, as something ends, something begins anew. New adventures, new challenges, new roads to explore. And space is the final frontier.

Commencing start-up sequence ... Life support ... Nominal Power Plant ... Nominal Engines ... Powered up and ready Frame Shift FTL Drive ... Ready Sensors ... Online Testing Thrusters ... Horizontal RCS ... Nominal Vertical RCS ... Nominal Lateral RCS ... Nominal Main Thrusters ... Nominal. Maximum speed rated at 550 kph

Frostfire's engines hum as Rawen slides into the pilot seat, looking back at the places he's been to over the course of past days. The experiences, the memories, ... everything is sitting in his mind, filling him with joy and little bit of desire to stay for a bit longer.

“Command, this is Commander Rawen, ship identification Krait II, callsign Frostfire, ship ID RA-28K ... sigh … requesting permission to depart.”

“Copy RA-28K, permission granted. We're going to miss you. As usual, observe safe speed limit of 100 kph inside and within close vicinity of the docking port. Safe travels and see you soon, commander.”

“Yeah ... I'll miss you too.”

The engines roar as Frostfire rises from the platform an glides through the docking port into the open space. Rawen sets the throttle to full. “Mentat, ...” No, not yet. Rawen quickly steers the ship around heads towards the part of the station in which the event was held. “Just need to do something first.” Rawen turns of the inertial compensators and lets his Krait quietly drift along with the station, matching the rotation. He occasionally rocks the ship a little as if waving goodbye. Is someone watching? Who knows, but it warms Rawen's heart, seeing the place for one more time.

“Alright, let's head home,” Rawen reengages the compensators and peels away the ship turning away, “But ... one more thing before I go.” Rawen loops back, throttle on full. “3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Awoooo!!!”

Rawen boosts the ship, blitzing past the event spot in one last pass, leaving a light blue trail of dust from his engines. “Awoooo!!! That's what I'm talking about. Alright, Mentat, plot the course home.”

“Course plotted. Frame shift drive, charging ...”

Rawen turns the compensators off for one last time, letting the ship glide on it's own and flips the ship around to watch the station slowly grow smaller as he glides away

“Ready to engage. Accelerate to maximum speed, proceed outside of the range of any gravity well and align the ship with the jump destination.”

Rawen salutes in good bye and flips the ship back to its original course

4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... ENGAGE!

R.R.A.