In the maze of thoughts ... So many withered bridges. Can they be mended? Should they?
Lately I’ve managed to catch up with some folks I haven’t talked to for quite some time. In some cases months or even more than a year. This experience reminded me a little bit of the time when there was quite a lot of people around, even if it was just in the virtual space. Over the years however, things happened and we’ve drifted apart. Letting go of the place that held us together also created a bit of an empty space. However, now the same folks are slowly showing up again. And I look back and see all the bridges which were built before; barely holding. Yes, there are some not-so-great individuals which I’m happy to have distance from but many were, one could say, caught in the crossfire. Which raises the question: Should the bridges be mended?
A bit of context since this is related to this woof’s backstory. When I finally embraced my fuzzy side for reals, it was during the pandemic times. The isolation eventually led me to the very place which connected me to my SO and my closest friends. But what happened with others? Well, this is where the story comes in. Back in the “isolation days” the place was one of the sources of sanity. Yes, I know I have a rather odd definition of what keeps me sane but trust me, it helped a lot. The place felt like a cosy refuge from the craziness of the real world and helped forge my initial feeling about my fuzzy peers. Somehow I managed to build up a pleasant image which made me quite welcome in the place.
This however wasn’t meant to last. Once life returned into the “usual”, the cosiness of the place began to erode. Sure, real life has been a mess (and is going to be for quite some time) but none of that felt like it validated the raise in tension and sometimes hostility. More and more the place felt like it pushed folks away which eventually resulted in the departure; sudden, quiet and unknown to anyone aside from the very closest people (who already left the place before).
Fast forward few years and we’re here now. First experience of being the fur for real and with it the chance to meet some familiar faces, which I did. And among them were people from the past, who I haven’t talked to for quite a while. And of course the news of me being around for reals have spread among the folks. Now, don’t take this the wrong way as if suddenly crowds have appeared around me. Good lord, no. I’d be utterly terrified of such experience if it ever happened. Woof likes his cosy corner far too much for this. The thought that started coursing in my neurons after all this is more along these lines; I’ve known these people for years. We’ve had a lot of pretty good moments and barely if any clashes. Yet I’ve just disappeared without saying a word, leaving the folks wondering what happened. On one hand, I don’t owe any explanation. On the other, it feels weird just going poof like this. It doesn’t help that there’s not in insignificant chance of encountering people that actually made me leave in the first place. Do I want to take the risk?
So yeah, this is a situation that has been just sitting in my head recently. Normally I’d just move on, being the “professional renegade” but this time around it doesn’t feel right. Not without giving some form of closure at least.
What would you do in this situation? Would you mend the withered bridges? Even if it meant crossing them just once and moving on anyway?
R.R.A.