Rawen's Musings

Something that’s been grinding my gears from time to time and now I have the space to let it out. This could also fit into the self-mentoring series but there isn’t really any “mentoring” part.

Ever heard someone being called gifted? Have you been called gifted yourself? Maybe you’re great with art or sports. Or you’re really smart when it comes to certain field so you start delving into science. Me personally, I’m quite a quick learner and despite my already “advanced age“ (yes, I’m joking about being old despite being just above level 30), I can still pick up a skill and get into to it quite easily or gain knowledge with little effort. Would that put me into a “gifted” category? It probably did when I was a kid. Are all these beneficial? From practical standpoint, sure. From mental standpoint however, that’s a bit of a different story.

You see, the curse that comes with “being gifted” is that you have a skill that’s exceptional or you can do it on an exceptional level. And of course, where there’s room for exploiting that, there’s someone who will 100% try. And it’s not unusual that the explotative behaviour comes from those who should keep you safe, your parents. It’s not unusual for the gifted kids to be pushed past their limits and have their lives tied up in wishes of their parents who are trying to live their dreams through their kids. Or teachers turning the “gifted” ones into their “pets”. Ugh, I feel filthy just typing that.

Have I experienced this? Ehh, a little bit since I was good at school but I managed to put enough resistance to be used as a poster kid. Similar things happened with sports in my case. I got lucky enough to get into some higher level stuff (in my opinion by sheer luck rather than my talent) adn whoo boy the pressure was insane. Less so from the coach and my peers, those were fine, but from my dad. Mind you I was in my late late teenage years. But I still remember that judgemental feel from him. Good for me that university freed me from that “prison”.

So yeah, being gifted pretty much became a codeword for “being exploitable”. A target to be picked apart for their skills and thrown away like a piece of trash once used up, leaving you drained of your soul.

However, there’s a another thing that comes with being gifted and living among folks that “look up to you”. At least for me it works this way that I feel out of place. The thing is, among “gifted” folks I can’t help but get that nasty whiff of arrogance. And trust me, the “average folks” (gosh, I hate catergorising people like this) are often miles better to be with. I mean, you already know that the best of the best people in my life are riddled with mental health issues or on the spectrum. And to me, watching them struggle with things that I can do easily makes me want to take a chip from my abilities and share it with them.

Which, truth be told, we can. We can do this by being their support and celebrate every success together as if it was the greatest thing in our lives, no matter how trivial it may seem.

So yeah, this is how I’d like to use my “gift”. To share it with others to help them grow. To give them the push to be brave and try, regardless of the final result. Because the joy of reaching your goals is contagious in the best sense of the word.

Some people would say I have wasted my potential to which I can only say: “My talents are mine to foster and grow. I deceide how and when to use them.” — “But you could be so much more.” — “I already am for the people who can appreciate my being. Not just because of my skills but for the entirety of me. Who I am, how I act. Not just what I can do. They don’t just want me for my ‘gift’. They want the whole package. And that for me is the true gift. My talents, whatever they are, are just the cherry on top.”

R.R.A.