Self-Mentoring III ... Never forget what it is like to be a kid
I wasn’t expecting to jump into this one so early but an article circulating social spaces gave me, let’s say, spiteful energy >:3 The article in question is an opinion piece and apparently is about, wait for it, kid-dults. First, what the fuck is that word? Second, the author must be one hell of a misrable person. I’ll admit I haven’t delved into the article but the title itself is repulsive enough. Doesn’t help that the it’s also denoted by “RIP ADULTHOOD”. Well, dear author of the article and anyone who this in a similar fashion, allow me for a quote (most likely not mine originally but it’s the message that’s important):
Never abandon your inner child. For doing so is like killing your soul.
Have I got your attention? Am I hearing your “mature” comments? Am I seeing your nose pointing upwards in self-fueled pride? Good. Now grab your favourite beverage and or a snack. And make sure it’s some comfort food because you’re going to need it >:3
First, a little bit of personal history. Consider it a small “Behind Closed Doors …” appetizer. All my childhood I was primarily among adults, mainly my close and extended family. Very rarely was I spending time with other kids. This had some rather unpleasant influences on my development. Long story short, my exposure to mainly grown-ups was beneficial to my intelectual development (I was super smart by kids’ standards) but at the same time this stunted my social development. I was (and still am) really bad at handling social situations and I’m still uncomfortable around kids. At the same time I don’t understand conflicts over petty things and find them silly and sometimes downright infuriating when adults argue about bullcrap as if they were kids on a playground. Yes, adults, the actual people that are supposed to be mature. All that resulted in me being socially anxious. I went to elementary a year late because of that social obstacle (intelligence-wise I was above my peers, of course this gap equalised over time).
Being among kids was a personal hell to me, which is weird when you’re a kid. I was always looking further. “Wait until high school, people will be less insufferable.” Spoiler alert, they weren’t but for different reasons. However, I always behaved more “mature” than my peers. I wasn’t really doing the typical “teenage” things. I’ve always kind of just did my own stuff, not really engaging in the “childish” activities. Initially I was even vocal about it and over time just stopped giving a damn.
However, at home it wasn’t that much better. You know how we all make fun of “dad jokes”? Well, imagine that your dad is also your “older brother”. Now, I can hear you all say “This must be amazing!”. And I admit, having a relationship like this with your family is good. But for someone who has this “mature” mindset, having to tolerate an overgrown kid (wink wink) is suffering.
Now, let’s fast forward through my studies and to my present. I’m on my own, independent, slowly building up my own life. And yet some things that many would consier childish stayed with me. I still had my curiosity, I was always this almost care-free person which was somewhat pleasant to stay around despite some weirdness (although that was probably more cause by me being a cynical bastard, more on that some other time). This all started rooting in further during work on my doctoral (I haven’t finished it in the end but it was still a neat experience). I’ll now point to my fuzzy self because I was already lurking around the fandom and it was leaving some mark. So yeah, all these somewhat kept me sane.
Queue in the pandemic and having to work from home (trust me, spending days in a single room where you work, eat, play and sleep is horrid) and as an escape I delved into the fandom a bit more. And there I found people that always had some cheerful spirit in them. People that were happy to “play around” and yet, when the life came in, got into the serious mode. At the same time however, I met people that were always acting in a mature manner, even going as far as posing themselves as “worth following”. And believe me when I tell you, these people were miserable to be around. During that time, it clicked in my head that being able to control, when I can channel my inner kid and when I have to be adult, is what being mature is. That balance is what made me grow up.
And that’s what I mean when I say: “Never abandon your inner kid.” Because it’s part of who you are. It’s that part that allows you to take rest from the day to day life. Trust me, during the day I’m the most boring looking person around. One of millions of ordinary people, doing their work, exercising, saving moneys, thinking about future, … you know, all the adult stuff. And yet, that same adult me, still loves to spend time in fictional world of games, has one wolf plushie sitting on his desk and another big one in his bed and thinks that walking around dressed up in a fluffy carpet is fun. And why? Because I want a break from being an adult. Because I am and have to be adult for the rest of my life. And if I can squeeze in a moment where I can “let loose” or make my adult being a little bit more comfortable, then I’ll try to take that chance and enjoy. Because being an adult isn’t spending your life in dread. Being an adult isn’t slaving away your life in permanent state of work. Keep in mind, that you likely have your own kids or might have at some point in the future. And it will be up to YOU to teach them what it’s like to play and be a kid. And if the only thing you can provide them is duties and struggles and worries, you’re robbing them of their own childhood.
So don’t feel ashamed to let loose from time to time and do something childish. For there’s a reason many people reflect on being kids and how care-free they were. And you can still be. The only difference is that you just have to do it responsibly. And because you can control your responsibility, you can be an adult when you have to be and play like a kid when you can. To sum it up, Play when you can, Work when you must.
Now if you excuse me, this fool has some royal duties :3p
R.R.A.