Self-Mentoring VIII ... Insatiable selfish desire for more leads to isolation. But it can be turned around.
Reward for selfishness is loneliness Reward for arrogance is foolishness Reward for greed is emptiness
We live in an era in which grabbing some form of attention, be it positive or negative. And more often than not the people that are seen the most are rather unsavoury. Yet despite their sometimes utterly henious traits, they gain worryingly larrge following which easily ignores all their faults. But what’s their end-game? What do they want? They want “more”; more people in their cult, fuel for their egos, more things to demonstrate their self-perceived superiority. But what these people don’t realise or willingly ignore is the hidden cost. They feel exceptional, invincible. Until the inevitable comes and then what? Who will help you?
Reward for selfishness is loneliness
Who will help someone who thinks only about themselves? Why would anyone risk their well-being for someone who doesn’t care?
Reward for arrogance is foolishness
Why should you need help if you’re so great? How come you’re not capable at delivering your promises despite your miraculous claims?
Reward for greed is emptiness
Who are you trying to impress with all this stuff? What do you have to offer as a person? Who are you?
If ANY of these questions fill you with dread while you’re trying to save your face, congratulations, you’ve been called out. I’ve hit a nerve and it resonates hard. Can you feel the anxiety? The fear of losing everything you have and think you are? Your “perfect” world falling apart like a house made of cards? The realisation that you’re thrown on a busy street and everyone just walks past you? Good, remember that feeling. May it be burnt into your mind because that’s your final reward. And there’s nothing you can do to escape it. You’re doomed.
Or maybe you’re not. Maybe there is hope. Maybe that weird thing that people call compassion actually works. Maybe the thing called kindness isn’t this overly sweet and icky mess but it is actually an investment.
But it’s so slow and takes so much effort.
And yet even the smallest gesture leaves a mark. It plants a seed from which your conscience grows. Thoughts of self-reflection take root, raising questions like “Why am I like this?”, “What am I trying to achieve with this?”, “How does it … affect others?”
See the change? All of a sudden the greed and selfishness feels foolish. The grandeur gets replaced with disgust at your narrow-minded self. At which point you grab that formless lump and start shaping it, chipping away the dirt. It’s laborious, it’s not perfect. but you can’t help but feel a little satisfied with your progress each time you clean up another piece of your personal art. But what’s this? There are people watching, curiously how your work shapes up. They’re sitting around in anticipation. Suddenly, a snag. Lapse of concentration caused your thoughts to derail. Someone from your audience springs up, giving you a helping hand. Spontanously, without feeling compelled to do. Your mind calms and you resume. After few hours your piece is finished and on display. You feel the praise coming but something’s different. It feels warm, cosy, genuine. It’s not just adoration. So you keep going. Not motivated by spite and selfish need to prove yourself, but because you want that warm feeling that you did something for others just by being yourself. Confidently without arrogance, without selfish motivations while doing it primarily for your own amusement and with the smiles of everyone around being your payment.
And that, my dear reader, is how you become appreciated. Not through gradiose acts but through humility and compassion. And unlike the former, this kind of fame lasts.
R.R.A.