Self-Mentoring XVIII ... Never reject your emotions.
Because living in such world is depressing. Done, end of story. Did I scare you? Of course not. You’re probably aware what I’m going to poke at. In case you need a reminder, a certain, highly unpleasant and completely incompetent excuse for existence said something along the lines of “Empathy is humanity’s weakness”. Now, I urge you to resist turning your desk into a pile of splinters or punching a hole through the wall next to you. Instead, let’s dissect this usually male (no, not manly) thing of supressing or downright rejecting empathy or emotions in general.
Those of us who happened to be born with male brain and body (whether you stick to it later down the line or decide to change it up is of course up to you ;) were most likely introduced to the good old “Boys don’t cry” trope. Yes, we’re suppposed to be these “strong and stoic” masses of meat and bones, ready to snap someone in half. Now let’s be honest, does this sound like a man to you? I see more of an ape. A chest-pounding gorilla, showing of their “qualities”. But here’s a thing, we’re not apes, we’re humans (or any other being with sapient level of intelligence). We’ve kind of evolved past just our instincts. There’s a reason our brains are so massive compared to other mammals; to have the capacity to process our psyche. It’s something we pride ourselves so much for. So … why do we praise those who reject all this? Why do we consider having emotions for weakness? Well, many people don’t. And they’re not weak. Why? Because they’re not afraid to confront their fears. They’re not afraid to see the raw and “uncivilised” representation of themselves and try and reason with it and understand why. But as I tend to say, facing yourself is scary. In fact, it’s the most terrifying thing to do, to admit to yourself that you’re not perfect.
Ok, Rawi, you’re ranting but what does it have to do with the thing in the title? My dear reader, let me introduce you to one of my favourite movies; Equillibrium with Christian Bale playing the titular character. In the movie, humanity is recovering from WW3 and found the culprit of their issues. And guess what it was; human emotion. So humanity developed a drug that forcibly suppresses emotions. What was the result? Well, would you like to live in a city that looks like a fortress? Bleak, grey, sterile? Imagine 50 shades of grey … except literally and not in the kinky sense. It’s a world which makes life in a concentration camp look enjoyable. Horrid analogy, I know, but look at the world there. There’s no art, no poetry, no colours, nothing. Even machines have more soul than the human beings there. Is this the world you want? Depressing and sterile? Reduced to nothing more than slavery veiled by some abstract greater good and fake sense of superiority? Imagine you could feel sorry for someone. Or worse, genuinely love someone. The idea that words “I love you” are nothing more than an empty phrase. That’s exactly the world of Libria in the movie. And this is the reality of those who reject their emotions as weakness.
One could say that there are philosophies or religions that consider emotions a flow. My dear reader, can you point me to one and tell me which part of the “code” says so? And if there is such part, doesn’t it specify something more? As in, you know, not letting yourself being controlled by emotions so you don’t just act without reason? Because do I have one more movie analogy for you. And it’s none other than the Jedi order from Star Wars. Specifically, look at the prequels and better yet the animated series of Clone Wars. How those who even slightly defied the “no attachment” rule were being looked at. How those who deviated from the doctrine were not acknowledged enough. And we all know how it ended up; the very thing that was supposed to “keep them from temptation” became the tool of their destruction, manifesting in one person. “So, the Sith are the good guys, you say?” No, not at all. Sith exploit emotions for their gain. They too reject empathy as weakness but instead of shunning every emotions as a flaw they instead turn them into a tool of destruction and to recklessly pursue their own interests. Sounds familiar? Channeling hatred, stirring up rage, … They know what emotions are. They just choose some of them. But you can’t select emotions. You either accept all or you don’t accept any.
A little absolute at the end, don’t you think? But it’s indeed correct. We have all the emotions; the “good” and the “bad” (quotes on purpose because there’s no such thing as good and bad emotions). And it’s up to us to understand them and control how we use and fuel them. Example, uncontrolled anger is dangerous to everyone. Righteous anger however, can be tamed and turned into motivation. Just be careful your spite doesn’t consume you. Same goes the “opposite” way. Naive positivity is harmful because it makes you apathetic. But being able to hold onto joy even in hard time is what gives you the reason to walk forward even if your feet already hurt. See? emotions are healthy and they’re what makes us powerful when used right. So don’t reject them. Embrace them instead. Understand them, all of them.
R.R.A.